Credits & Comments @ lhfan21

Author: lhfan21

Fandom: TSCC

Pairing: Camerah

Summary: The only relationship Sarah would allow herself and Cameron to have is one with no strings attached

Disclaimer: I do not own TSCC or its characters

Author’s note: This fic, like my previous one, took a life of its own. And if the chronology of events is somehow confusing, forgive me. Comments and feedbacks always appreciated.

 

Sarah had jolted awake just as the cold metal fingers wrapped around her neck. Her breaths came in ragged pants, and her hands reached for her neck, dropping back down when she found nothing there. She took a deep breath, and sat up. This was a routine set of action she performed every time a nightmare woke her. It guaranteed that she would be able to go back to sleep, until the next nightmare, at least. She hated the nightmares, but sleep was essential. Lack of it made her weak, made her vulnerable. And she hated that more than any nightmare in the world. She needed to be strong if she was going to protect John.

Her left hand came up to wipe the thin sheen of sweat on her forehead back into the hair while her right reached under the pillow. The moment it came in contact with the hard, reassuring barrel of her 9mm, she calmed. She didn’t know why this is so exactly. The 9mm couldn’t protect her from her dreams. Couldn’t protect her from the fire, the bombs, the machines, from John dying, from herself dying. But it can protect her –to a certain extent anyway- in reality. Because nightmares are only dreams after all. It shows what could happen if she were to fail, but as of current, it’s not real. And she was going to do everything in her power to make sure it stays that way.

“Are you okay?”

She whirled around in an instant, gun in hand aiming and poised to fire at the voice. The voice that came from beside her on the bed. She squinted a little in attempt to see through the darkness but quickly registered who it was. Cameron lay on her back on the bed, eyes wide and staring at her. The tension which was building in her arms faded, and it went limp, dropping the gun onto the mattress.

“What-What are you doing here?” Sarah demanded, confusion and shock mixed in her voice.

Cameron blinked, as if she did not understand the question. She opened her mouth to speak, before it hit Sarah.

“No wait, don’t answer that,” she said, turning away from Cameron. “Stupid question.”

Stupid question indeed, because she knew exactly what Cameron was doing there. It was just the shock that momentarily threw her off. After all, it was she who first invited Cameron into her bed.

She couldn’t really recall how it happened; only that it did. The first morning after she had felt sick, guilty and thoroughly disgusted with herself. Disgusted that she had given herself to a machine, the enemy. Disgusted that she desired a machine. It was so very wrong and she knew it but yet, at the same time she felt an undeniable pull towards Cameron. A pull towards what Cameron could give her that no one else could. Reassurance. The reassurance that she didn’t have to worry about her. That she wouldn’t die in a crossfire. That she could more than take care of herself and John. It was more than any human could offer. That’s why, despite knowing every thing she did, despite hating Cameron for being a machine, she kept bringing Cameron into her bed again and again.

Cameron never protested. In fact, she never said much at all. She just came whenever Sarah wanted her. Almost like it was just a mission. Sarah did sometimes wonder if Cameron thought it as an order. But she didn’t bother asking, or clarifying. Things were good as they are. Cameron did what she wanted and never mentioned anything to anyone else. The one thing that did unease her was that Cameron always left whenever they were done. She never stayed. The longest was probably fifteen minutes, and then Cameron would methodically get up, collect her clothes and leave without saying a word. Of course Sarah expects Cameron to leave at some point during the night, but the way Cameron leaves is almost cold. Like she didn’t like what had just transpired between them. It left Sarah feeling empty.

She didn’t know what possessed her to ask one night.

“Why do you always leave?”

Cameron, who at that moment was reaching for her tank top on the floor, stopped. She turned to look at Sarah, seemingly surprised at the question. “I thought that is what you wanted.”

Sarah faced away from the terminator, uncomfortable to see her naked, even though she has many times before. She reached for her own shirt at the edge of the bed. She was more uncomfortable being seen naked, exposed. “Did I say I want that?”

Cameron watched as Sarah slipped on her shirt. “No. But you said no strings attached.”

“Yes,” Sarah confirmed. Her eyes darted around, looking for her panties and shorts. “It doesn’t mean you have to leave.”

She spotted her panties then, at the other side of the bed, right next to Cameron. How the hell did it get there? Cameron followed her eyes, and saw the piece of lingerie by her side. She promptly picked it up and stretched out her hand towards Sarah. It was snatched from her hand with a mumble of thanks.

Cameron dropped her hand, and tilted her head. “I don’t understand. You want me to stay?”

Sarah pulled her panties up her legs, sparing a glance at the still very much naked girl. “Not until morning, but for a while. At least until I fall asleep.”

“Why?” Cameron asked, as Sarah picked her shorts from the floor.

Why indeed. Because she felt empty.

“Because the bed gets cold, and I don’t like it,” she snapped, her voice harsh. “So stay, okay?”

She didn’t wait for an answer. Now fully dressed, she plopped down onto the bed, snuggling in. It was completely the machine’s choice to stay or leave. She had wanted to know why the machine always left, and now she did. She even gave her a piece of her mind. So there is nothing left to be done.

It took a while, but eventually she felt Cameron clambering back onto the bed. She turned her head just slightly to look at the terminator, only to inwardly groan when the girl was still naked.

“Get dressed.”

Cameron shot her a questioning look.

Sarah didn’t return it. She sighed. “In case something happens, and we need to move quickly.”

Either that or in case John or Derek comes in unannounced while Cameron is still around. It would be comparably easier to explain if Cameron and her are caught in bed together dressed than if they are caught in bed together not dressed.

There was an almost dissatisfied look on Cameron’s face, but she mutely complied, standing to put her clothes on.

Sarah turned to her side, her back to Cameron, and closed her eyes to sleep. She said she wanted Cameron to stay. She didn’t say she expected anything else to happen from there.

“You had a nightmare.”

It was a statement more than anything. Sarah rolled her eyes to look at the other on her bed. Cameron was regarding her curiously. Sarah turned her attention instead to her 9mm on the bed. She picked it, checked the magazine, and then slid it back under her pillow. She knew it would be loaded, but it was all part of the routine.

“Why are you still here?” Sarah asked finally. She had fallen asleep, had a nightmare and woken up, and Cameron was still there. Meaning that it had to be quite a while already. After their conversation that one night, Cameron took to staying until she fell asleep. But never this long.

“Should I go?”

Sarah stared at Cameron, slightly bewildered. Cameron was behaving differently than usual. Cameron stared back, expression showing nothing. Pushing the feeling aside, she looked over to the clock on the bedside table and registered that it was half past three.

“Suit yourself. As long as you leave before they wake up.”

“I always leave before they wake up.”

She snorted, unsure of what point Cameron was trying to make and frankly, not really caring. She lay back down on the bed, at first on her back, but quickly turned to her side, once again showing her back to Cameron. She couldn’t sleep any other way.

That entire exchange had been the starting point. The point where Cameron stayed a lot longer, sometimes until just before the boys wake up. The point where she started talking, when she didn’t before. Sarah didn’t know why Cameron did what she did, but she told herself she didn’t care. The machine always had her strange ways. As long as what Cameron did didn’t jeopardize anything, she was fine. That is, until she noticed a pattern forming. Cameron was becoming bolder.

She had just become used to Cameron’s talking. Used to tuning it out. But that night, Cameron didn’t say anything. She should have realized something was off. She almost had a heart attack when, as she sat up regaining her breath, Cameron’s hand crept up her upper arm. Great, she thought, it was touching now? She slapped it off.

“Don’t touch me,” she said.

She knew how ridiculous it must sound to Cameron because just hours ago, that same hand had been touching somewhere else entirely. And she had allowed it. Wanted it. But it was different, and Cameron wouldn’t understand it. She wasn’t for Cameron to understand. What they did hours before, that was just physical. This touch, this comforting caress on her upper arm, felt intimate. She couldn’t accept that.

No strings attached. That’s the rule.

Except that Cameron seems bent on breaking it. Or she couldn’t differentiate what kind of touching is okay, and what is not. She grew ever more puzzled why the same type of touch sometimes pleased Sarah and other times pissed her. It didn’t help that Sarah saw it as worthless to explain to her. So she did what she deemed was right. She continued those little comforting touches whenever Sarah had a nightmare. There was only so much Sarah could get pissed at her. And she was right. In time, Sarah stopped fighting her.

Which scared Sarah. It scared her that she was no longer reacting to Cameron’s touch. She let it linger, and once, she even let it coax her to lie back down on the bed. Something changed then. She broke her routine. She didn’t check her gun’s magazine. That wasn’t the only thing that changed. Cameron, who had always lain on her back, has for some reason decided to lie on her side, facing Sarah. It that was all, Sarah thought she could handle it, since she slept with her back facing Cameron anyway and as for her gun, who needs one when the strongest weapon was lying by her side? But it wasn’t all. Somehow, Cameron has also taken to stroking her hair, making sure to brush her neck while doing so. That was too much.

She caught the wandering hand. “Stop.”

She pushed the hand back to its owner and turned back onto her side, telling herself that it was not hurt she saw on Cameron’s face. Machines don’t feel hurt.

“Why do you want me here?”

The question was unexpected. “What?”

“Why do you want me here?” Cameron repeated. “You said you want me to stay, but you ignore me. You don’t respond when I talk to you. You get angry when I touch you. Why?”

Sarah inhaled loudly. “Because I asked you to stay to keep the bed warm. Not to talk or any other funny business.”

Despite knowing it would irritate Sarah, Cameron replied factually. “Technically, my body emits less heat at rest than a human. I would most likely be cooling the bed than warming it.”

“Just shut up, okay?” Sarah barked. “You can leave if you want to.”

Cameron doesn’t. Instead, she inched closer to Sarah. Far enough just so she isn’t touching Sarah, but close enough that Sarah could feel the machine’s breath on her back. She pretended not to notice, because she was too tired to want to apprehend the terminator again. And she knew she shouldn’t have.

The next night she sat awake, Cameron didn’t stop at just her arm. Cameron had enveloped her in a hug, arms around her shoulders. Having noticed the pattern, Sarah wasn’t too surprised with the new progress. Struggling was literally useless against Cameron’s immovable frame. So Sarah relented, and leant back into Cameron’s body, using it like she would a chair. That only made Cameron wrap tighter.

“What are you doing?” Sarah asked.

Cameron noted that there was no anger in Sarah’s voice. “Comforting you.”

Sarah snickered. “Comforting me? Do I look like I need comforting?”

“You look like you had a nightmare,” Cameron stated. “Nightmares are unpleasant.”

Sarah laughed half-heartedly. “Your logic wins this time, Tin Miss.” She felt Cameron smile against her cheek, and gasped. She hid it by clearing her throat, although there was nothing there. A sudden urge to be distracted came over her. “How would you even know that nightmares are unpleasant? You never had one.”

“No, but I’ve watched you have them,” Cameron answered. “It’s unpleasant.”

“For me or for you?”

Cameron considered the question. “Both.”

That caught her attention and Sarah turned her head to look at the machine she leant on. She met Cameron’s eyes. “Why is it unpleasant for you?”

The terminator returned the look with one of greater intensity. “Because I can’t stop it.”

It was at that moment that Sarah realized what she had done. What she allowed happen. What all her not caring, all her pretending not to notice had led to. Things had escalated and she had unwittingly let it happen. She gulped, eyes staying on Cameron’s just a moment longer before breaking the contact slowly, hoping that Cameron hasn’t noticed her realization. With a resigned sigh, she dropped her head on Cameron’s shoulder. The gesture startled Cameron, who tensed. A small smile pulled at Sarah’s lips, knowing she managed to shock the girl. She also knew that things were probably going to escalate further from this and maybe, she wanted it to.

This time, when Sarah stirred awake, it wasn’t because of a nightmare. In fact, far from it. Her mind was blank, and a visual sweep of the room revealed no external factor which could have caused her wake. She did an audio check next, but all was quiet. Then she felt it. A weight across her waist and warmth along the length of her back. She was being spooned. And that’s not all. The person spooning her had also parted the hair at the back of her neck and was planting light kisses all the way from her hairline to the top of her spine. That’s what roused her.

Sarah tried to turn around. “Cameron, what are you…?”

But Cameron’s arm across her waist, although gentle, was firm at the same time and kept her in place. “Stay like this.”

Sarah stopped. Cameron’s voice sounded so forlorn. She craned her neck to gaze at Cameron, which brought her ear directly beside Cameron’s mouth.

Cameron’s breath blew pass Sarah’s ear. “Just for a while. Please.”

 The whisper tickled her ear and sent tremors rippling down her spine. She let the tremors pass before she relaxed and let herself be held. Cameron had stopped the kissing, and now seemed content just holding Sarah. Sarah herself didn’t know why she was letting this happen. Something in her told her she should stop it, but she couldn’t. She felt Cameron’s arm around her waist move up to gently take her hand in its own. She stared down at it for a moment, then she pulled Cameron’s hand tighter around her.

“What do you feel? Right now?”

Cameron nuzzled closer to Sarah. “Something.”

Sarah closed her eyes. No strings attached. That’s the rule. The most important rule. The only rule.

And also one that has already been broken.

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