Bella and I talked all night. She asked me more about my past, the things I loved and didn’t like, and the little stuff of how the world was years ago and what it was like to see it change. We had only stopped to make love once during the night, when we were done we curled up side by side, holding each other. It was nice I thought. It felt human. Though I didn’t remember anything about my past, I asked Bella the things she missed about it, and what everything felt like or looked like. One thing in particular stuck in my mind.
“What was sex like?” I asked after a long silence.
“Well, are you sure you want to hear about that, I mean it was only ever with Edward.” She said sheepishly
“I would still like to know.”
“It was nice. It’s not like what you’d expect, not what they show on TV or in movies. Or I guess it could be, but with Edward, with someone I loved, someone that knows you as well as you know them… It’s very nice.” She paused for a moment, then sighed. “It wasn’t about the sex really, I mean yeah it was great, I mean as great as it could get with a vampire who could lose control and kill you, but I felt closer then I’d ever been with Edward. Closer at that moment then I’d ever been with anyone on the planet, connected in every way, not just physically, but emotionally. It was just really nice.”
I looked over at her after she was done, I didn’t expect the feeling that was coursing through me. I was jealous. Not just for the fact that Bella got to experience such a beautiful moment humans get to have and most of the time waste, but also because Edward got to make love with her while she was human, to give her that experience, one she would never forget. And I felt sadness that it couldn’t have been with me, that I couldn’t have given her what she wanted. I tried not to dwell on it too much since I had her now, I gave her everything she needed this weekend, and whenever she wanted anything from me, I would be there to give it to her. Anything and everything, it didn’t matter whether is was possible or not, I would make it possible, I would give her what she wanted, even if it wasn’t what I wanted to give to her, even if it was her asking me to never speak to her again, I would do it for her.
“What are you thinking?” Bella asked placing her palm on my cheek. We were laying down in the bed, while she was propped up on her right side. She broke me out of my wondering thoughts and I looked up at her curious eyes, smiling at the insane jealousy I had moments before. She wanted me, and I wanted her, nothing could break this bond we formed now. Absolutely nothing.
“Nothing really.” I finally answered, she didn’t look convinced, and I liked that she saw past my hiding, she knew me well enough to know that I was thinking something and it wasn’t just nothing. She saw that it mattered to me.
“I hear that the best part is after, when you both just lay down next to each other, and hold one another till you both fall asleep in each other’s arms.” I’d successfully switched the subject.
She smiled faintly then moved her hand from my cheek to caressing my short messy hair.
“Yes, that is the best part. After such an incredible night, just laying down together and falling asleep, or just holding each other, it’s a powerful feeling. To know that you’ve both have done something magical together, to know that, that is one of the many things worth living for, it’s just a very moving moment, in both lives.” Bella leaned down and kissed me. I knew she sensed why I was asking.
“Thank you, love,” I breathed out when we parted. She made me feel so much better, because after we were done making love, we lay next to each other every time holding one another, maybe not being able to sleep, but damn well close to it. And Bella was the closest thing I’ve ever felt to being human.
She looked over her shoulder to the light shining through the very large window. It was dawn and the light was reflecting off our skin, sending shimmers of a million diamond colors off our skin and all over the room. We’d never seen each other in the sunlight before, I knew she had with Edward though, and pretty much every vampire was the same in the sunlight. With Bella though, she was exceptionally beautiful in the sunlight. The best thing I’d seen in a long while and it was my Bella.
That was two hours ago, as I thought back to it, but being a vampire time passed very differently, to a vampire, hours are minutes while days were hours. We were still in the bed, still talking, still very naked and whenever our skin touched in a certain way, didn’t take much to make us aroused, and we made love three times in those two short hours. Bella sent me into a craze, I felt like a horny teenage boy lusting after his English teacher. It didn’t take much for me to be all over her, but it just wasn’t lust that grew inside of me for her, it was everything else that being in love felt like. Yes lust of course was in there, and it was greatly in there, but there was a passion, a deep understanding, a powerful feeling that coursed through my ancient body. I wanted Bella in more ways than one. I want to see her face every time I close my eyes, I want to see her standing in the middle of a crowded sidewalk waiting for me as I turned the corner, I want her to be the person that if I was human, I would dream about, every single night, I wanted to lay beneath the stars with her on a warm summers day and talk about life’s meaning, and I want her to be a person I share everything with, from my darkest secrets to my bed. I just wanted her.
“What time is it?” Bella asked breaking this silence we had let continue for I don’t know how long, could have been decades, but I was content to have her here with me.
I picked up my head and looked past her, to the clock that was behind her. “Almost nine,” I whispered. She closed her eyes and sighed a very content sigh. I just looked at her, letting my eyes run over her face, memorizing every detail I could.
“I need to take a shower,” she breathed, as if disagreeing with her statement, she didn’t want to leave this bed, nor did I. But I smiled having another idea in hand. “I could come with you”
Her smile became wider and she opened her eyes, they were dancing wildly with the idea. She didn’t give me a yes or no; she just got up quickly, swung her leg over the other side of my body, so she was now straddling me. I sat up so my back was leaning against the head board. Bella leaned down and kissed me, very feverishly and quickly, it turned me on. Her hands were around my neck and moving everywhere in my hair, then they traveled down to my back, she held me closer, pulling me in more to this wild kiss, as my hands went to her back, I dug my nails into her indestructible skin, and I heard Bella moan into my mouth. She pulled away without me wanting her to; I was so turned on that I didn’t want to leave this bed for the world. But she took my hand and pulled me off the bed, towards the bathroom.
“I would take this as a yes,” I smiled
We were both already naked, so the stripping of cloths was not needed. She leaned into the shower and turned the water on. I looked to my left and at the end of this bathroom was a very nice sized bathtub, I made a mental note of needing to use this later on tonight, just then when I made the decision to do this a vision flashed before my eyes and I saw Bella and I in this bathtub with bubbles all around us and candles absolutely everywhere. ‘This will be fun’ I thought to myself.
The steam was forming, telling us it was time to step in, but we were in our own little world before we realized what was around us in reality, we were in a very hot kiss, and I honestly just wanted to throw her down on that bed and make love to her for the rest of the morning. It was hard to not want Bella, so very hard. But when she pulled away from the kiss, she once again took me hand and started to walk backwards into what I noticed to be a large shower. We stepped in together, the water running on us, making us wet, slipping off our skin like it was silk.
She smiled as the water wet her hair, her back was to it running down, so I was wet but not fully. The temperature could have been icy cold or scolding but we couldn’t notice, the only indication was the amount of steam flowing all around us, it filled the wall length mirrors in seconds.
I wrapped my arms around Bella’s neck pulling her down to my face, I was shorter then her, but so much. Our tongues played with each other, and I took mine and licked the bottom of her lips, I felt a small shiver roll down her spine and I smiled. I see it didn’t take much to send her into a craze like she did for me. It was a good feeling.
She turned our bodies around so now I was in the water, my hair soaking as it ran down my body. The kiss was never broken. She sucked on my bottom lip, then playfully bit it. I could taste the venom that had escaped her teeth.
I pushed her up against the side of the bathroom wall, her eyes were lusting as she took in the site of my wet skin. It seemed to arouse her even more. So she flipped me around and now my back was pressed to the wall. She began to kiss down my neck, sucking and biting every place her mouth found. She kissed down past my collar bone, I felt her hand travel up my stomach, and both hands aggressively grabbed both of my breasts, I moaned. She smiled wickedly at me, and leaned down moving her right hand to suck on one. This was by far the best shower I’d ever taken.
We spent the rest of the morning in that shower, I only realized the hot water went when it stopped coming, seeing that is probably all cold. But I didn’t notice at all. Bella and I were in our own little world, and this was a world I never ever wanted to leave. This hotel room was our world. We only needed each other to make it a beautiful world. Eventually we would have to leave this world we’ve created, but hell I wanted to come back all the time, and I would figure out a way to do so.
When we got out of the amazing shower, we took two towels to dry each other off. I dried her off first, making sure that I got every strand of water off her beautiful body. Then I was next. She got everywhere, but when a single water drop dripped from my hair to my neck and began to slide down, Bella caught it by sticking her tongue out and licking it away.
She continued, with every touch she made, to turn me on. I dropped the towel that I used to dry her body and grabbed her ass, lifting her up so now she was off the ground, with her legs wrapped around my waist. I carried her to the bed, put her down, and began to kiss every surface that I could.
The morning was spent in the shower, while the afternoon was spent in the bed. We hadn’t moved from that bed for 4 hours. It was almost 6 when we finally looked at the clock. It wasn’t like we needed to be anywhere at that time, we should have stayed in that bed I thought, but I knew she had other things in mind, and I did too, for later tonight, with that vision I got. I couldn’t wait till I could set it up. I was so excited to show her that I was a hopeless romantic.
“I can’t believe it’s only Saturday,” she breathed after this long day. We were curled up so close together that you’d think we were one person. Our eyes were closed and I could feel my body rising and lowering the same time hers did with breathing. I smiled and began to caress her cheek.
“I know,” I whispered lower then she had, I opened my eyes to see her looking at me, she was doing exactly what I did with her this morning. Exploring my face, examining it, studying it, remembering it. And I loved that she was doing it.
She leaned in and touched her lips to my cheek, down my jaw, then back up again to my ear. I felt her mouth part and she said so low only a vampire could hear “I never want to leave.” I smiled, turning my face, she knew what I was looking for and her lips pressed lightly to mine. This kiss was nothing like the ones we were sharing today, it was meaningful, there was love, happiness, and content in it. When she pulled away, her lips still lingered on mine, and I quietly said “Neither do I.”
“Well that’s good then, let’s just never leave,” she smiled looking to my eyes. Then she sighed knowing it wasn’t possible. I mean it was possible but we had responsibilities at home, things we couldn’t ignore. We had eternity and nothing would fulfill me more then to stay in this room forever with Bella, but we knew, with regret, that soon we would have to leave this world behind. I wished to come back, every chance we could. It was torture knowing we would have to go back to our lives, after what happened here, and to act like nothing ever happened but shopping. I was a good liar yes, but this was something I knew would hurt. And the real torture wasn’t leaving this room, it was going home, in front of our loved ones, knowing we were in a lie. I didn’t care how long it would take me, but I wanted to be with Bella, to have her be mine and not have to hide it, I wanted to show the world my love for this extraordinary person at my side. She was my life now, my existence. I needed her to be with me, I needed to be with her, that was the end of this story, we were going to be together. At all costs.
It was almost 8:30 at night, when Bella turned over to me, she was about to say something but before she could, a vision of her deep into the woods north of here told me she would be hunting. Just for a little bit, and I was happy to get her out of here for a half hour so I could set up for a romantic evening. Not that this whole trip wasn’t romantic, it was that and so much more, but tonight was going to be special, for the both of us. I wanted to make it extra special. A night where it would stay locked forever in our memories, with only each other as the keys.
“I’ll be waiting” I murmured to her right before she was about to say what she was going to do. It didn’t surprise her in the least bit to have me around her, knowing her constant decisions, whether they were about me or not. I knew basically all.
She simply smiled, then leaned over and gave a quick but meaningful kiss, as if I should know what would be happening when she got back.
I took my right hand and grabbed a fist full of hair, locking her into place. She moaned and moved so now she was on top of me. I smiled and released her, I didn’t plan on having anything move forward, or else my plans would be ruined, but I would tease the hell outa her. She looked at me, seeing exactly why I did that and let out a frustrated sigh. I chuckled. “Your diabolical” she moaned, getting off the bed to grab clothes out of her bag. She was dressed in seconds, but with my eyes I saw every movement, I just leaned my head back and put my hands behind my head, smiling as I watched.
Of course she was turning me on, how could she not, but I had to control myself if I wanted things to go as smoothly as possibly. This meant Bella had to go, and my urges would be satisfied when she returned.
“I miss you already” I sighed, and that wasn’t a part of the trying to get her out of here, I truly was disliking that she was leaving me, even if it was to go hunting. If her leaving sent this kind of emotion through me, I don’t know how I would be able to act around the others. It was going to take every single ounce of self control I had in me.
“I’ll hurry back to you, no worries” she promised, walking over to me, she placed her hand on my cheek and leaned in, kissing my forehead. I closed my eyes as I heard her breath me in, as did I with her. It wouldn’t be much to help me last, but it would get me through the next thirty minutes without her.
She stepped back, turned around and headed for the door, right before she stepped out she turned and looked over at me, her eyes were a mask of pain, it hurt her to leave me just as it hurt to have her leave. I gave a nod towards the door encouraging her to go, and not be distracted. Bella smiled very weakly and mouthed ‘I love you’ then walked out. I closed my eyes once more, taking a deep breath, remembering her sent, and quietly said “I love you” knowing very well she would hear it.
I quickly dressed and left our room, to go across the street where the very large mall had been. I figured there would probably be a candle storeinsaide, and I was right. It was to my left as I walked into the gigantic doors. With only a half hour to spare knowing that they would be closing soon, I walked in hearing the motion censored bell ring notifying the workers of my entrance. Only one girl was behind the counter and she seemed rather bored. I wanted to be quick about this, so I grabbed a whole box set filled with sixty small candles, then I picked up a set of 12 of larger candles. I walked over and placed them on the counter, seeing a set of three lighters, I placed them along with the rest of my things.
As the girl was ringing me up, she looked at me weird, but I didn’t really bother to care. I gave her the money and she gave me my bag. As I walked out hearing the bell ring again from my exit, I noticed Bath & Body Works four stores down; I remembered walking past it yesterday when Bella and I went shopping.
I quickly walked in, found a set of bubble soap, and very nice scented body gel, another girl behind this counter rang me up and handed me my things. While leaving the place I was very excited to see Bella’s face when she arrived home.
I headed back to the hotel, in record time, dashed into the elevator, and was on our floor in less than a minute. As the doors opened, a man in a very nice suit was standing there, but when he saw me, it didn’t seem like he remembered what he needed to do. His eyes went wide and his mouth fell slightly open, and I could hear his heart beat quicken. I simply smiled at him and walked out of the elevator, heading to the left towards our room. I heard him clear his throat as he stepped in and as the doors were closing he whispered “Damn.” I chuckled to myself.
Walking into the room, I looked over at the clock seeing I only had twelve more minutes to set up the bathroom, but that would be plenty of time. With my blurring speed to any humans eyes, I zoomed into the bathroom with all the bags, took all the candles out of the boxes, placed them everywhere, just like how I saw it, then I turned on the bathtub, letting it run for a moment, I grabbed the lighters and lit half of them, only stopping to add the bubbles to the water, then went back and lit the rest of the candles. I turned off the water when it was almost to the top, and I smiled because I couldn’t even see the water with all the bubble soap I’d put in. I then took the body soap and placed it on the floor next to the tub.
I took a step back to see what I’d done and I was more than satisfied with what I saw, it was pretty much my vision, except Bella and I were not in it.
Walking back into the bedroom, I threw out the boxes and the bags that came with all my things, and I looked over at the clock. She would be here inthree minutes. I felt some anxiety, now knowing if she would like this or not killed me, but at the same time I was happy she was coming back. It was silly to be so saddened by her so very short period of absence. But I was, and so was she.
I didn’t know yet if I wanted to surprise her with me in the bathtub ready for her to join or just wait for her to come in and see what I’d done, then we’d get in together. I finally decided that the best surprise would be me in it waiting for her, so I quickly stripped my clothes, leaving them on the bed, she would see them and know I was naked somewhere, then come find me.
With one last look at the clock, seeing I only had about a minute or so left, I went into the bathroom, and placed myself in the tub. No lights were on except the candles, but man they were plenty, and the glow of them, making beautiful unknown shadows all along the walls made me smile to myself, knowing how much Bella would love this. Or so I hoped.
I heard the elevator ding and the doors open, I didn’t hear any footsteps so I knew it would be Bella. Vampires walked as if on air. Then I heard the card swipe into the door, and heard it beep allowing access into our room. Hearing the door open and nothing else, I assumed she was standing at the door assessing the room, figuring out where I was.
Hearing the door make a very low click while closing, I smiled in anticipation to her reaction to all of this. I heard a low sniff in the air, seeing if I was still in the room and she always did this, little cheater.
And then there she was, five feet from the tub, her eyes wide, and mouth slightly open as she took in the site. I could only imagine what it looked like through her eyes. Her lover, naked in a large bathtub, with bubbles all around her and candles that emanated a such an amazing glow.
“What’s all this?” She finally asked staggered a little bit I noticed.
“Nothing much,” I responded
“Is this for me?” She asked placing one hand over her heart.
“I don’t see anyone else around” I smiled devilishly “I didn’t plan all this for you to stand there with your clothes on darling”
She smiled, “You planned this huh? Well I guess I should not let this go to any waste.”
“It wouldn’t be fair to my hard work to do such a thing”
“It wouldn’t.” With those final words she stripped down in a matter of seconds, and walked over to me, it turned me on to see her in my grasps but not being able to touch. Well not yet anyway.
She smiled widely as she sat down across from me, I leaned forward as did she, and we kissed, a very simple, quick, sweet kiss. The kind a husband would give to his wife after a long day of not seeing her, and I liked it.
“This is amazing Alice” She sighed so contently. I was happy she was happy, it sent wondrous feelings through me.
“I’m glad you like it” I smiled, leaning forward again so we could kiss. Except this one was needy and fiery. When the kiss broke, I turned around and lay against Bella. She wrapped her arms around my waist and began to kiss the back of my neck, traveling down to my shoulder, then back up again. She repeated this several times before I broke the silence.
“How was your little hunt?” I asked
“It was okay, caught two dear, I wasn’t full but I couldn’t stand being away from you any longer.” She went back to kissing my neck. It sent shivers down my spine.
“That’s good because if you were gone more than that, I would have come after you” I chuckled.
Bella laughed quietly. I felt her chest rising and falling to her breaths. It soothed me like a child in its mother’s arms while she sang them to sleep. Bella calmed me better than anyone, better then Jasper, with him I knew it was his ability that did it and not him himself, with Bella, it was her presence that did it. Her touch, her voice, her sent, everything about her made me at ease with everything.
We stayed like that for I don’t know how long, hour’s maybe, the candles burned and there we stayed.
I leaned around and found her lips, taking my left arm and wrapping it around her neck, and then I remembered the body soap I’d gotten. So I broke away, leaned out of the tub to grab it, handing it to her, she smiled clicking the cap open and pouring some into her hands, then she began to wash my back, the feeling was incredible. Then she leaned her hands over my shoulders rubbing down my chest, I leaned my head back enjoying the moment.
I couldn’t handle anymore when she began to rub my breasts and I felt one hand suddenly around my waist in the water, she was moving towards my center, knowing this would send me over the edge. I did want to wash her but I couldn’t hold a thought when she played with me in such a way. I turned my body around, now facing her and I grabbed her hand standing up, she knew it was time to take this to the bedroom. So she gladly stood up smiling.
For the second time, we dried each other off, and it was very quick. We made our way to the bed, and she pushed me down climbing on top of me. Her eyes were full of lust as she took in the site of my naked form beneath her. And she went to work quickly.
She began to kiss my neck, making her way down to my collar bone, her hands snaked up my sides firmly grabbing a hold of my breasts. I moaned loud as her lips found my nipple. She sucked one then moved over to the other. But her mouth didn’t stay there for long. They moved further down my abdomen sucking on my skin, nibbling the surface of my stone stomach. As they traveled down, I felt her legs nudge my legs wider; I felt one hand leave my beast and followed loyally to where her mouth was heading. I felt her fingers play with me, and I began to gasp. She didn’t need to do much to send me over this edge I was nearing. But when her tongue found my center, I became dangerously close. Her fingers entered me in a slow pace at first, and then picked up speed as her tongue did. She sucked on my very womanhood. I gasped as I was to the brink of my climax.
“Oh god Bella,” I moaned loudly, as her hands paced quickly inside of me, and they moved faster and faster, while her sucking and licking became more fierce as I felt my body begin to shake with the exploding orgasm I was having. My back arched off the bed and my hips moved forward, rocking with her. I gasped as my legs bucked and my back hit the bed, I was breathing heavy as the last ripples went through me.
Bella began to kiss back up my body again, this time going through the center of my breasts, and kissing up my neck to nibble on my ear. I was still breathing hard, when she whispered very seductively “I’ve been waiting to do that all weekend”
“Really?” I said composing myself now. “Well you know what they say, what comes around goes around dear” I said flipping us over so now she was underneath me.
I was more aggressive with her then she was with me, but I knew she liked it none the less. My lips found hers and we tangled our tongues together, but I had other things in mind, so I pulled away, biting down not so soft on her bottom lip, then sucked on it, tasting some venom.
My hands found her breasts and I made no pause to begin sucking on them, she moaned slightly and I looked up to see her biting her lip watching me. While my hands lingered there my lips began to move down, I could smell her arousal, it was thick, and I loved it.
I found her center, I licked her as she did with me, but instead of using my fingers to enter her, I decided to use my tongue. After I licked her entrance, teasing her to no end, I heard her gasp loud when my tongue moved in. My hands were still caressing her breasts. My tongue moved all around, and I could feel her tighten as I moved faster. I took one of my hands and began to rub her, sending her to places I hadn’t before. I looked up at her to see her eyes closed but her mouth open, silently screaming to the pleasure I was giving her.
“oh Alice!” She screamed and her body rocked, her hips moved forward, making my tongue go deeper, made my fingers move faster on her, and then she came. Her legs shook around me, when it was over, she relaxed herself into the bed, I traveled up, kissing her, and when our lips connected I slipped my tongue in to let her taste herself. She lightly moaned.
I curled my body to hers, she wrapped her legs around mine, and moved her arm over my body around my waist to pull me close. Nothing needed to be spoken, no one needed to move, we were still, enjoying this moment.
I looked at the clock quickly, seeing it was 2:30am, for the rest of the night we were there, curled up as if we were one, till dawn.
I couldn't tell you how many times I've heard humans say 'this is the worse day of my life', if I had a penny for every time I heard the expression over the last 108 years of my existence, I would be well off. Not that I'm not already, I am, but I'm making a point.
I never understood how the phrase could be said over and over. Humans lived short yes, but to them it was a long time, how could they know enough of the past and the future to say one day out of their lives was the worst. One simple day out of the decades they lived to be the worst they've experienced.
I never understood it, until today. Until today became the worst day of my life. Out of the 108 years I've been walking the Earth, this day was the worst of them.
"I don't want to go back yet" Bella softly said into my hair. She had come up from behind me. I was sitting on the edge of the king sized bed, putting my shoes on, when it had hit me, that this was the worst day of my life. Bella had taken the thought right out of my head.
This was the worst day because I didn't want to go back. Not yet, not ever. I wanted to be with Bella for eternity. Eternity meant nothing without her anymore. I had fallen harder then I thought it was possible.
"Neither do I" I murmured, leaning into her. She wrapped her arms around the front of my body, and nestled her face in the crook of my neck, and kissed me softly.
I sighed and closed my eyes. This was the peace I wanted to be in, I knew that when we went back, it wouldn't be peaceful at all, It would be hard, almost as hard as being around a human bleeding. Bella was my desire, and what I longed for. What I needed, everything from her breath to her touch, her voice and kiss. I wanted it all. Not just when we were alone but with the family.
Even though I knew it wouldn't happen, it didn't matter, I still wished to show my love for her to them. I was going to fight for her, if it came down to that. I would show her that we were made for each other. I didn't doubt Bella's love for me at all, but if that's what it came down to, I would prove it to her.
"We should get going" I heard her say, with regret once the words escaped her lips. I was feeling what she was feeling, and for the first time, I've never felt this depression. Our lives were going back to what they were. This fantasy world we had been in for the past three days was now coming to a close. Didn't mean that we were not going to get back, but who knew when we were.
"What are we going to do?" She asked me, and for the first time in a very long time, I had no idea what was going to happen. No visions were going to tell me, no vampire sense helped me. I was walking into a battlefield blindfolded, with nothing to help me survive.
"We do what we need to do" I quietly voiced, turning my head to look into her eyes. "For now, we do what we have to do" I repeated.
Bella nodded her head and sighed, but I heard her breath break unevenly, I knew that sound, and I turned my body around completely and put my arms around her waist. Her breath hitched a few more times, and I rubbed her back, trying to sooth her sobs. I pulled my head away from her shoulder to be eye level with her, and I took my hands and cupped her face, my tumb caressed her cheeks, as if to wipe away the un shed tears.
I leaned forward and kissed her gently, I savored every second of that kiss, because we both knew it was going to be the last one we were going to have for a while.
When we parted Bella smiled weakly, trying to show me she was okay, but we both knew she wasn't. And neither was I. We were not okay with leaving. We were not okay with having to lie to our family. And we were not okay with hiding our love for one another. It all just simply sucked, and I couldn't think of a better word to put our situation.
"We will be together." Bella said matter of facts. She said it as if she was saying the sky was blue, or blood was red. She said it and she meant every word.
I smiled "We will, whatever it takes my love."
We kissed one last time, a feverish goodbye, a farewell to the place we created, where our memories were all we had to us about this weekend. They were as vivid as a colored dream.
When I needed to get away from the world, all I had to do was unlock the moments we shared here, in this hotel room.
I got up and took her hand in mine, grabbing our bags in the other, we walked out of the room, and down the hall. Bella took one glance back at our door, and sighed as she stepped into the elevator. I squeezed her hand tightly as it went down to the lobby.
When we stepped out, we walked towards the main doors, and I stole a glance to the front desk seeing if the fellow was there, and he was. His eyes on Bella, surely he took in her face and how sad she looked. His eyes flashed to me briefly then down to our joined hands, and when realization hit him, it hit him good. He looked back up at me and I nodded as his mouth fell, shocked.
I turned my head and opened the door first, holding it for Bella. Her head was down as she passed me, I'd never seen her so upset. My insides coiled, I felt what she felt too, but to see the mask that was on her face made it even harder for me. I never wanted to see Bella in this much pain, I was determined to make this right. To make her happy.
When we got to my car, I unlocked it, taking the bags from Bella, when she was about to turn to get in the passenger side door, I grabbed her hand, she turned to look at me and tried her best to smile. It wasn't very convincing. I pulled her in, kissing her forehead. She hugged me tightly before stepping away and getting in. I put the bags into the trunk and sighed as I got into the drivers side.
She and I looked at each other with sadness in our eyes and heart. I firmly took her hand in mine as I started my Porsche and began to drive back home.
The car ride home was silent, it was unnerving as well. I was dreading going back home. 'I can do this, I can do this, I can do this' was what I was forcing through my mind. I hoped that if I said it to myself enough times, that I could believe it. By some miracle I could do what I was about to do. I could face what I needed to face. If by some chance Alice and I got outta of this alive, if we got out of this hand in hand, in one piece, then it was worth the wait. I was going to wait for her, she knew that and I knew that. I didn't know how long we had to keep this charade up, but for her I was going to do it, and so I continued to remind myself 'I can do this'.
I loved my family, truly and deeply. I loved My daughter, and I loved Edward. I did. But Alice was something more, she was another love, one I never had, or experienced. It was a kind of love I would to the ends of the earth for. A kind of love you don't let pass you by. I wasn't going to let her pass me by, not a chance in hell.
We only get certain chances to be happy, I was going to take mine. It wasn't going to be easy but I wanted to be happy. Don't we all? Shouldn't we all get the chance to be happy, no matter what kind of form it was in.
My fear was of losing my family, what if they didn't understand, and turned their cheeks on us. They wouldn't do that, I told myself. They loved both Alice and I and they would love us no matter what our choice was.
It was a whole bunch of possibilities to how this could all turn out. I thought of every single one that entered my head. Didn't make it easier, no, but it helped me to think that it was going to be okay.
We didn't plan for this to happen, but it did, and they should understand that. They would and will understand it. I wanted to tell them, I didn't want to hide. I wanted to face the music with my lover at my side.
Eventually the truth will come out, always does. But it was a question of when. So now time was our companion and enemy. It gave us time to prepare for this, to know how we were going to do this, and to help us get through this. In the same turn it was against us because we would have to wait, and the funny thing about time is it will fly by when your having fun, and crawls when your in misery.
We were going to be in misery, it was going to be painful, and hard, but this was a shot at happiness for eternity. We needed to take it.
It only took us about an half hour to get home with Alice's driving. As we entered the town of Forks, we knew this was it, there was no turning back from what had happened this weekend. I didn't want to turn back. I couldn't turn back. Neither could Alice, I knew.
Before I knew it, we were driving up the long driveway that separated our world from everyone. I'd never been this nervous or scared in my life.
'I can do this ' went though my head once again. 'We can do this, we will do this.' I finally came to the conclusion of. We can, and we will do this.
Alice parked the car in the large garage, and all the cars were there. 'Wonderful' I thought. Everyone to face.
She turned off the car slowly, and we sat a moment in silence, getting our minds in the right set to do this. It wasn't going to be so hard for me, at least I didn't have Edward to block out, unlike Alice. And she had Jasper to block out as well. So did I, but he wasn't around me all the time like with her.
We listened to everyone inside, the TV was on, and we heard Emmett howling in happiness from something I would guess in sports. I heard Edward talking to Carlisle, and Jasper as well. So we knew they were all in the house.
I looked over at Alice, as she looked over at me, and our eyes locked, the depth that I saw made me beautifully amazed. She knew we could both do this, it gave me the courage.
For the last time that both of us knew of, our lips connected. This kiss told of our future together, and it told me we would be together. We parted and hugged tightly.
"We're gonna be okay" She whispered into my ear.
"We will be."
And with that, we untangled our bodies, opened the doors, and stepped out, we had each other to make this work. That's all we needed.
We were gonna be okay.
I believed that.
Only ten days have passed so far. Just ten whole days. Its surprising that I’ve lasted this long without losing my mind. It was hard, harder then I could have imagined. I didn’t know how to handle this, I tried handling it like Alice was, she seemed to be very relaxed. To everyone else, she was just being usual Alice, but I knew. I knew the beautiful act she was pulling off so well. I knew that under the deep façade of it all she was in as much pain as I was in.
I knew it. I felt it.
At first I was extremely scared. Scared that they might know, scared I could slip up, or not be able to handle it. I was just scared.
But I wasn’t scared because I never wanted them to find out, of course I did. I wanted to tell them. I wanted to take Alice’s hand in mine, walk through the front door and say that her and I were in love and going to be together, and they would accept it, they would be happy that we’re happy.
What a wonderful fantasy I had formed in my head.
What really happened though was when we walked in I attended to Edward’s side, and Alice to Jasper’s.
Life went on.
In the ten days, we smiled, we laughed, we talked, and we joked.
But inside, the both of us, I knew, were yearning to touch.
In the ten days that had followed, when Edward and I were at the house, every now and again I would steal a glance my lover, only for a second. Sometimes my eyes would be met.
For the briefest of moments we both let our guards down very cautiously and showed each other that the love was still there. The passion still burned. And the loyalty would never break.
But sadly when we broke the stares regretfully the walls were back up, reality came back, and everything was still the same.
The nights were the most torturous.
When Nessie would fall asleep; I would most of the time sit in her bedroom and watch her sleep. I thought mostly of that weekend. Sometimes my mind would drift to how and when we would tell everyone.
Alice and I hadn’t really had any moments alone to tell each other anything without the entire family knowing.
For ten days I had to control the beast inside of me that tried so desperately to break free, the beast that wanted to ravage Alice in the ways we had during our weekend away.
I sometimes thought about the subtle moments our hands would brush against each other, and it would send electrical currents through my body.
I remembered three days ago when I was on the computer just to find something to do, Alice had come up from behind me and leaned down, asking what I was looking at, but we both knew why she had done it, she needed the closeness as well as I did.
She was merely inches away, her lips as tempting the forbidden apple; all I wanted was a taste.
Her sent washed over me, and my eyes fluttered shut, breathing her in, taking in as much as I could.
Just like all the other moments we barely had together; it ended when we heard Emmett and Edward coming down the stairs.
Alice stood up straight and walked away, into the kitchen I supposed. How desperately I wanted to watch her departure, but Edward’s eyes were on me, I could feel that. I looked up at him and he smiled lightly, I did the best I could to smile, though it wasn’t convincing I knew.
He came over to me, kissing the top of my head, I looked up at him and saw something in his eyes, something I couldn’t place, something that I saw he couldn’t either. I had a wave of panic, but then he leaned down, kissed my forehead, breathing out “I love you”
He walked away, going outside with Emmett.
When he was out of site, I exhaled the breath I realized I was holding in since Alice had walked away. I was trying to preserve her sent in my lungs as long as possible. When I released the air, it was a mingle of her sent and mine.
I was feeling absolutely horrible about all of this. I couldn’t think about it without a feeling of pain striking me dead heart.
I felt I was betraying everyone.
I was betraying my family with all this lying. They should know the truth, they were family, they should know, I thought to myself.
I was betraying Jasper; I had taken his one true love, his soul mate. He would do anything for Alice, I knew, and I would do anything for her as well. But she was his long before I came along, who was I to destroy the happiness he had built for almost a century. Alice was his everything. I had taken that from him, he was going to hate me once knowing what happened, and I deserved it.
I was betraying Alice as well. She shouldn’t have to deal with this pain, she deserves more then this. We should be able to love each other without fear, and I wasn’t giving her that. I was causing her pain, I couldn’t stand the thought of causing Alice pain. She turned out to be my soul, my heart, my love; I needed her to be happy. Whatever it took, I was going to make her happy.
But the worst of all the betrayals that were happening there was one that was above all the rest.
He was what I’ve been avoiding of thinking about. I couldn’t bare the thought. Everything he has done for me, all the love he has in his heart for me, all the love I use to have in my heart for him. I couldn’t hurt him, after all we had been through, I just couldn’t hurt him. But he would want me to be happy. He always wanted me to be happy.
But if he had known what I desired, what my happiness now is, where it now lies, would he still feel the same way? Would he still want me to be happy? Would he be enraged or understanding? Would he let me go, or try and fight?
So many thoughts.
I thought my mind was going to erupt.
I couldn’t go much longer with these thoughts.
All a vampire had was time, and time right now was not what I needed.
I needed Alice. I needed to feel her, talk to her, and be near her. I couldn’t be without her any longer. I needed to figure out a way to be alone with her; I don’t care if it was very little, it was better than nothing.
I looked around the house, only Edward, Emmett and Alice seemed to be home. I didn’t know or very much at the moment care where the others were.
I knew Emmett and Edward were out in the woods, I needed to execute my plan now if I wanted the moment I was hoping for.
I stood from the computer and walked towards the front door, I listened to hear where Edward and Emmett where, and I heard them deep into the woods laughing, they were probably wrestling or something.
I turned around now facing the stairs. I sniffed the air, trying to find where Alice was in the house. She was upstairs. I heard her in her bedroom. I believe that was where she was.
I zoomed up the stairs in blinding speed, arriving at her door in less then a second. I didn’t bother knocking, because I knew the moment I decided to do this, she saw.
I opened the door to her bedroom, and there she was, standing in the middle of her room, facing the door, with a smile on her face. Without turning I closed the door behind me, and pressed my back against the wall.
We stayed like that for a minute. Neither of us making a move, just staring into each others eyes. Both anticipating a move that didn’t seem to come.
“Alice” I managed breathed out, finally not being able to stand it. Alice’s eyes fluttered closed, as if she longed to hear me say her name that way.
“Bella” she whispered.
That was it, what I heard in her voice, I knew, nothing had changed between us.
I crossed the gap that was between us, as I crossed it, she opened her arms and accepted me into them.
Our lips connected. Our bodies crushed together. Our hands roamed each others bodies. Our tongues moving together.
We both needed this moment. I don’t think either of us would have been able to last another day without this contact.
I don’t know how we ended up on the floor, but our legs tangled together and our kiss never broke. It was a rush, we couldn’t separate. We didn’t want to separate. And we weren’t going to separate.
Not a chance in hell were we going to even try.
We didn’t have much time to ourselves. We knew this, and yet we did not care. We kissed each other, held each other, talked, laughed, everything we needed from one another, we did in the little time we had.
“I’ve missed you so much my love” Alice breathed after a moment of silence.
“I can’t describe how I’ve missed you Alice.” I said then kissed her softly.
We were on the floor in her bedroom. No one had come home yet and to our knowledge Edward and Emmett were still in the woods. Every now and again we would hear a big boom in the forest then laughter. Therefore we knew we would not be interrupted for the time being.
I was so very happy about this. I truly did miss Alice, so very, very much. I was just as happy that she had missed me as well.
One thing was plaguing my mind, and as much as I didn’t want to approach the subject I knew it had to be done.
I opened my mouth to talk but it seems Alice wanted to beat me to the punch.
“Soon.” She said answering my un-asked question.
“Very soon. Edward is beginning to suspect something I can feel it. He’s been very observant lately when we are around each other.” And I knew this to be true, I just didn’t want to accept that, because accepting it would mean that I was going to hurt him very badly, very soon.
“Do you think Jasper knows?” I asked her, knowing if he did she would know for certain.
She was quiet for a moment or two before she decided her next words.
“I don’t know. Sometimes I believe he knows, others I believe he has no idea. But Jasper is smart, and it has been extremely difficult to keep my thoughts and emotions in check around you. I don’t think I can continue it much longer.” I felt guilty about this now. I was causing her pain, something I never wanted to do. And here I was, causing her an amount of pain that not a single person could understand but I
I kissed the top of her head and then kissed her lips, sort of as a reinsurance to that she still had me, I knew she knew that’s why I did it, because her kiss told me the same thing I was telling her.
We still had each other, and even though the pain was beyond hard now, it would get better; we were going to come out of this together.
“When do you want to tell them?” I asked quietly as I lay next to her body, feeling her chest rise and fall to her breathing. It soothed me.
“All depends on when you feel we should tell them”
I thought about it for a moment, deciding the right time I believed we should, I didn’t want this left up to me, but it had to be done. “We should tell them tonight.”
She was surprised for a moment on my response to do it extremely soon, but she seemed to accept it.
“Then it is settled, tonight it is.” She looked over to me, stared into my eyes, and leaned in locking her lips to mine.
“Where is everyone else?” I asked after the kiss broke.
“Hmm, Rosalie and Esme are shopping, and Carlisle is at the hospital. And I believe Jasper is out for a ride in my Porsche.”
I laughed lightly at hearing where Esme and Rose where. “Why are you not shopping with them?”
She turned her head, looking at me and smiled “Because I couldn’t leave the house knowing there might just be a chance we could be together for a little while.”
I smiled, now seeing that Alice had been focusing on being alone with me as much as I had wanted to be alone with her.
“Well it’s a good thing you didn’t go then, or else this moment would have passed right by and you wouldn’t have gotten it back” I teased.
She growled but I saw the little smile her lips were forming, and I smiled back. Sometimes she was too adorable to resist.
We stayed there on her floor for who knows how long. We didn’t really care. We knew once they had decided to come home Alice would see it and we would go our separate ways. It pained me to know soon enough I would have to leave my lovers side once more, but when I did think about it, I knew that soon we would be together at last.
I was nervous, extremely nervous. I didn’t know how they would react, I wanted them to accept us, still love us, but what if they didn’t? What if they turned their cheeks and never spoke to us again? Would they do such a thing to family. I didn’t think they would but I was preparing for it.
Hope for the best. Expect the worst.
That’s what I let run through my head over and over. I didn’t get my hopes up too high in case they truly did turn away from us, but then again, I knew my family, I knew them well, maybe not as well as Alice but I knew them all the same, and I knew in my non beating heart, they would not do such a thing and they would accept us.
Yet I continued to say the saying over and over. Just precautions I told myself.
Alice and I held each other for some time. I knew the moment it was time to leave each other, because Alice got very still, then she sighed and turned her head to look at me, she smiled a tiny one, a reassuring one, then kissed me softly and got to her feet.
I got up as well, turning to her. “Once they are all home, we should sit them down and tell them.” I said, in a weak voice.
“Alright, Rose and Esme will be home in five minutes and Carlisle is on his way along with Jasper.”
I sighed and she placed her hand on my cheek her thumb stroking it softly. I closed my eyes breathing in her sent, seeing that it was still as intoxicating as ever.
She dropped her hand and stepped back, leaving distance between us, a distance I could not bear but knew it would all be over soon.
I turned and walked out the door, heading downstairs.
I was thinking things over in my mind about tonight, what we would say, how we would say it. Would we hold hands? Or would we just be side by side? Will we be sitting or standing?
All these questions rolled around in my mind as I heard Rosalie and Esme come into the house. Rose had a several bags when she walked in, while Esme only had two. Then Emmett came in with another load of bags, I knew were Rose’s. They headed up to their room to put them away, or Rose was going to put on a little show for Emmett.
Esme smiled as she passed me and placed a kiss on my cheek, walking into the dining room. I smiled feeling the love of my lovely mother. Even though I did have a mother, I considered Esme a mother as well, after all I would have her for eternity, unlike my real mother. The thought made me sad.
Edward walked in then, I didn’t realize I had drifted over to the living room couch and was sitting down, I was so lost in thought.
He came over and kissed me gently. I smiled up at him, and once again I saw in his eyes what I had seen this afternoon. Something was bothering him, something he couldn’t place or understand. I worried on this. He would know soon enough what it is, and I wondered if he would put two and two together before we told or if he would wait and see, the know that feeling he’s been having was this all along. If he somehow knew all along, I didn’t know, I was worried, scared, and sad to be hurting him.
I heard Alice’s Porsche pull up to the house and drive into the driveway. Jasper was home. He walked into the house from the garage door, smiled at Edward and I then went upstairs to his room that he and Alice shared.
I felt guilty because soon it would not be their bedroom. Soon he would not be the one sharing a bed with her, and as much as I enjoyed the thought of sharing a bed with Alice, it killed me to know we were hurting the two people who had loved us unconditionally.
Last but not least, Carlisle walked through the door. He waved at us and walked to the kitchen where he knew Esme would be.
The whole family was here.
It was time.
Alice knew it was time because she appeared at the top of the staircase with Jasper in hand.
He looked puzzled for a second but then his face went smooth and tranquil. As if he knew what was coming, he was prepared for it.
I rose to my feet, Alice was now at the bottom of the stairs, Jasper right behind her.
She called out the names of the other family members.
“Rose, Emmett, Esme, Carlisle… can you come here for a moment”
In a few moments, they all appeared in the living room, looking at Alice, wondering why they’ve been called.
“Please, sit.” She asked motioning her hands to the couches and chairs. “You too” she said looking over at Jasper. He let go of her hand and walked over to the space on the couch and sat.
Edward was already sitting in the same spot he had when he first came in to sit with me. He didn’t move, and his face was just as smooth as Jaspers. It was unsettling to see this. Though the rest of the family looked confused, they did not.
I walked over to Alice, standing next to her, she made no hesitation in taking my hand in hers. My hand slid into hers easily I noticed. As if it was made to be there.
I looked at her, seeing how her eyes were a tiny bit nervous, but I could see hope in them, a fire that wouldn’t burn out.
And then I knew… We would all be okay.
The worry left my body and I was so calm and relaxed.
Her love for me was that fire, and her hope was just as strong as that love.
We were going to be okay.
Alice knew that, and I would never bet against her.
I squared my shoulders, looked at my beloved eternal family and accepted what was going to come to us after this.
“We have something we need to tell you all” I said, as the saying once again went through my head…
“We have something we need to tell you all” I said with Alice's hand placed in mine.
"It is something that you must understand was unexpected and yet divine." Alice chimed in.
We looked one more at each other, her eyes asked if I wanted her to tell them, and I gave a small nod. She nodded as well, smiled, turned her head and looked each and every member of our vampire family in the eye as the words left her lips.
"Bella and I, we have fallen in love"
There it was.
The secret was out.
The bomb was dropped.
And now this was the outcome.
Gasps escaped from each member of the family, except Edward and Jasper, their faces had changed though… it wasn’t so smooth anymore. It was more like release, it looked to me as if they were finally happy we told, and I was puzzled by this. Questions began to flood my mind… had they known all along? Were they outraged and trying to contain it for our sakes and the families, I couldn’t figure out why they looked so different at this point.
"Whoa" Emmett let out.
"Come again?" Rose asked.
"How?" Esme said next.
"When?" Carlisle added to the fluid of questions, their faces were of shock and disbelief.
Alice and I both looked at our eternal beloveds, the soul mates we were to be with till time itself stopped. We looked at them with eyes that showed sorrow and love. I looked at Edward with hope that he would forgive me of this, hope that he would understand, and still love me.
Alice was doing the same I was certain.
The unanswered questions hung in the air like a black cloud, and yet there was such a huge silver lining, the secret was out, we didn't have to hide anymore, we were free of the ache in our hearts. Alice and I were going to be together now. In that very second I felt peace.
It ended abruptly when Edward and Jasper both got up simultaneously, looked at both Alice and I together, looked at the family, then to each other, and with those odd looks, they simply walked past Alice and I, and out the front door.
They just left.
They didn't speak a word to anyone, but it didn't take much to see the pain we had caused them. And neither Alice nor I wanted to inflict any pain on our eternal husbands. We wanted to love them, be there for them, hold them in our arms on dark nights, but that was all taken away when this new found feeling was formed, this new found love.
I didn't feel so sad because Alice's love was like no other. It was like I was drowning in a sea of water and she saved me. Coming up for fresh air as the water washed over me. The clarity of knowing I was alive again. That was the feeling of her love. That's what I wanted to keep more than anything else in my forever existence. Alice. And I would have her, and she would have me, and we will be happy. I swore to it in my head, we were going to be happy.
No one stopped Edward or Jasper, they just let them go. The room grew silent as we listened to them run into the forest and the sounds of their feet hitting the forest floor grew faint after a few seconds.
I looked to Alice along with everyone else, our eyes all asking the same question and I knew she knew what the question was.
“They just need some air, they’ll be back” she finally said, and there was a tiny hint of depression in her voice, and it made my body react in a horrible pain that filled my chest. I never wanted to hear such a thing from my lover. I wanted to make her happy. And yes I knew with the situation was a difficult one, yet it still hurt more then I wished.
Now that Jasper and Edward left, we all felt we could speak more freely, well Alice and I did anyway. So I decided to step in and answer some of the questions.
“Well the how, is simply it just happened, the when was about six months ago, and we are very deeply in love with each other.” I squeezed Alice’s hand as I said the final words to my sentence. She smiled faintly, but I was happy with it either way.
“Bella and I want to be happy together, we want you to accept us and love us. We are sorry for anything that may happen from this point on, but we couldn’t hold our true feelings in any longer, and believe us, we did try. We tried to be happy with both Edward and Jasper and the family, but we felt as though we were forcing something apart within us, and the only way to fill the emptiness was to be together. We only wish for you to understand.” Alice ended her tiny speech and we waited for the response.
Esme rose from her seat on the couch next to Carlisle, walked over to us and a normal human speed, one where if I was still human I would have been able to see it clear as day, took our hands that were not connected to each other and smiled. It was a warm motherly smile, I felt peace wash over me with that smile, she looked at both of us then said “My dears, we could not love you any different.”
Carlisle stood up then and came to Esme’s side “It is true, we could not. If you are truly happy with one another then be happy. That is all we wish for you both.”
Esme pulled us into a very tight embrace, and we accepted it happily. I very well knew if we could cry both Alice and I would have.
I smiled while one arm was around Esme, “This is all we wanted from you, thank you”
“Of course sweetheart, we love you both so very much, and we just want what is best for you, and if you are happy, then we are happy.”
“Thank you, mom” I heard Alice murmur.
When we pulled away Emmett and Rose were standing there, Emmett had a huge grin on his face and said “This is so cool! You guys are hot together” I knew Alice rolled her eyes at the same time I did. Rose hit him in the arm then causing an “Ow” and “Sorry” I giggled to myself.
Rose looked at us and smiled “Well like they said, if it makes you happy then go for it.”
I saw Alice turn her head and looked at the door, we all knew why she did it, and I found myself doing the same. I heard her sigh and it caused me to as well.
“Don’t worry, they just need some time is all, they’ll be back.” Rosalie said knowing where our thoughts were. You didn’t have to be Edward to guess them.
For the rest of the night, they didn’t return home and we knew to give them they’re space. We all talked some more after the initial shock of it all ended, they had a few more questions like what planned on doing now and how we planned on handling with our husbands, we of course didn’t have any answers and it pained us both I knew to even think about it. So eventually the questions died down and the family dispersed to the rest of house to whatever activities they felt like doing.
Alice and I went up to her room and we talked, pretty much for the whole rest of the night. We talked, we kissed, we held each other, and it felt safe. There was no more worry hanging over our heads about being caught or anything else that worried us. The only thing now that was a problem was Edward and Jasper. We knew we were both going to have to handle the situation, we didn’t know how yet, even Alice was blind to what was to come, but it was still a very good night, because we were finally at peace. I felt as though I were high up on a cloud with my lover, looking down at the envious world, and I smiled to myself at this thought.
“What are you smiling about love?” Alice asked after seeing my smile.
“Just about how happy I am to have you”
“Ah well get use to it because I’m not going anywhere”
I giggled “well good, anywhere you go I’ll follow”
She laughed, and a moment of silence fell between us.
“I love you”
I looked over at her and looked deep into her eyes, smiling as I did, and without any effort at all the words came out.
“I love you” I said back.
She leaned over to me and placed a soft kiss on my lips. With that kiss it told of our eternity we were going to share together, and I couldn’t wait.
Two days after we broke the news to the family, Edward and Jasper still did not return home. Alice and I were both worried, but we knew they could handle themselves. After all they were vampires.
Alice and I spent those two days together of course, but not as either of us would have liked. I spent some time alone with Nessie while Alice did other things. I knew I needed to spend time with my daughter, and it was good to have her with me.
We went for a walk on the second day without Edward, and she looked at me with a sad face.
“What’s the matter?” I asked her noticing it.
“Momma why hasn’t daddy come home?” She looked up at me.
At first I didn’t know what to say, but I knew I needed to tell her something, I didn’t know if I should tell her the truth or lie, part of me didn’t at all want to lie but another part said it was best for right now.
“He’s away on a hunting trip darling, along with uncle Jasper.” I smiled to reassure her of her thoughts.
We continued our walk talking about the things, like her days she spent with Jacob and the wolves, or dreams she’s had lately, she loved talking about her dreams so much. She loved to climb the trees and I enjoyed watching her play, it was as if the forest was her toy room.
When we got back to the house Jacob was waiting there for us naturally. Nessie squealed when she spotted him and ran quickly over to him, his arms were already open for her to leap into them. I smiled seeing how he was with her. It was good to know if something ever happened to either Edward or I Jacob would be right there, her protector and I began to remember once upon a time when he was my protector. I did miss Jacob in that way from time to time, but things had changed for the better and we were both happy because of it.
I walked closer to them hearing Nessie tell Jacob about our walk and her climbing the trees. When I was a few feet away Jacob looked up and smiled “Hey Bella”
“Hi Jake, how are you?” I asked.
“I’m good, and you?”
“I’m fine. So what are your plans for the day?”
“Well I was going to take Nessie to the reservation, to the beach. Is that okay?” he asked.
“That’s fine.” I said looked at him, than I looked at Nessie “Be careful, alright?”
“I will momma” She got down from Jakes arms and ran over to give me a kiss and hug before turning back to Jacob, and took his hand as they walked to his car.
I watched after them as they drove away.
As I watched I smelled her, it was intoxicating to say the least. I smiled to myself as I felt two arms wrap around my waist, and her head on my shoulder. I closed my eyes and leaned back into her embrace.
“Good walk love?” Alice asked me.
“Yes, I needed to spend some time with her.”
“That’s good that you got to before Jacob came and stole her.”
I laughed lightly “Yeah, I guess he doesn’t feel whole without her presence.”
“Hmm, like how I feel when you are not around.” Her hold on me grew tighter, as if I was going to go anywhere, and I smiled at this because I felt the same way.
“Don’t worry Alice, I’m right here.”
I placed my hands on hers that were on my stomach.
Then I remembered I needed to ask her if she’d seen anything yet with Edward or Jasper.
She sighed and answered before I could ask. “I haven’t seen much of them. Just little things like them deciding on when to hunt, nothing big though.”
“Are they together still?”
“Yes, though at one point they left each other to deal with their own thoughts. I think it might have been hard to deal with their emotions when they have their gifts, with Edward being able to hear Jaspers thoughts and Jasper being able to feel Edwards’s emotions. It’s been difficult for them I’m sure.”
I sighed as well. “I feel awful.”
“I know love. But I’m here, and we’ll need each other for what is coming next.”
“Yes we will. I just feel so guilty; I’ve done this to him, and to Jasper. I wish I could make it better somehow, someway, just take away the pain.
“I do too Bella, but all we can do is wait right now.”
She kissed my cheek and released me, but taking my hand now, and leading me inside.
When we got inside, Emmett was watching TV as usual while Rose was out shopping no doubt. I didn’t know where Esme was but Carlisle was at the hospital I was sure.
Emmett looked over at us as Alice walked us up the stairs and he smiled a huge grin “What are you guys up to huh?” he said while raising his eyebrows.
“Wouldn’t you like to know” Alice replied and I rolled my eyes at him.
“Yes I would actually” He smiled again.
Just as I was about to add something smart Rose walked in and said “But you won’t”
And he cursed under his breath.
“Busted” Alice said and smiled wickedly to herself as we continued up the stairs to her bedroom.
We walked in as I closed the door behind us. We hadn’t made love since we told, and we both felt we should until things were settled down with the whole Edward and Jasper situation, since we didn’t know when they were going to return we didn’t want them to find us in the nude and further ruin the situation.
Instead Alice went over and put on some classical music while I went to go sit on the bed. She came over once the music began to play and I patted the spot next to me for her to join me.
She layed next to me and rested her head on my chest as we listened to the sounds that coursed beautifully throughout the room.
“I like this feeling.” She whispered.
“What feeling?” I asked looking down at her as my hand stroked the top of her head.
“This peaceful calm feeling, it’s natural when I’m with you, I always did enjoy the talent that Jasper has, but this is without effort.”
I sighed because I felt the same way. It was so easy to be with Alice, it was without complication or thought, it just was.
She picked up her head and looked at me, while she sat up, I looked at her and smiled putting my hand on her cheek as my thumb stroked her face. I leaned in a lightly kissed her lips.
“I wish we could stay like this forever.” I said when the kiss ended.
“We have forever to have moments like these.” She calmly said.
The second day passed without incident. Alice and I spent it with the family. Rose and Emmett where in the living room watching TV again, Emmett had on some football game that apparently wasn’t going so well for the team he was rooting for. He sat at Rose’s feet while she stroked his head obviously not caring for what was on.
Alice and I went to sit by them. I sat on the sofa next to Rose as Alice sat next to Emmett on the floor. I began to play with her hair.
“Hey hey it takes a long time to get my hair perfect” she said swiping my hand away.
I laughed “Oh because it’s so difficult to make it look like you just got out of bed.” I teased.
“Finally someone says it” Emmett laughed nudging Alice in the side. She growled, even though it sounded menacing we all knew it was playful.
“You better take that back.” She said as her eyes locked on him and her teeth showed.
“Oh I’m scared now, the little shrimp is gonna get me.” He mocked putting his hands up in a playful defense.
“Take it back or I’ll hurt you” She said getting in an attack position.
“Nope” He said teasing her some more.
In a flash she was tackling Emmett to the floor. She locked her arms around his head in a head lock, Emmett was laughing the whole time, but then his laugh faded as he tried to break from her hold, seeing that he couldn’t.
Rose and I began to giggle to ourselves, seeing our love’s attacking each other like teenage boys.
“Alright fine, I take it back.”
Alice’s lock around his grew tighter, she knew he wasn’t serious he was only saying it, and she wanted him to mean it.
“OKAY, OKAY, I take it back!” Emmett yelled.
Just as she was about to let go, Alice went limp. Emmett saw this as his chance to win over her, he flipped around and pinned her to the ground, but when she didn’t fight back I realized she was having a vision. Her eyes were far away.
I got up quickly and went over to her, pulling Emmett off of her. He didn’t hesitate to move.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.” He said quickly. Rose got up and went over to his side as he stood, they both looked down at Alice and me while I was kneeled down. I picked up her head and put it in my lap.
“It’s okay Emmett.” I said when I looked up at him. His face was full of apology.
A few more moments passed as we stood there waiting for Alice to come to, and when she did, her hand curled around my.
“Bella?” She said in a raspy voice.
“I’m right here Alice.” I said, instinctively my hold on her grew tighter.
She pressed her face into my stomach as if she was hiding from what she had seen. I wanted to ask what it was but I didn’t want to push her.
“Bella, It’s time.” She whispered.
I looked down at her questioningly.
“Time for what sweetheart?” I asked, though I was sure I knew the answer.
“Time to face our judgment day.”
Right then the front door opened, Rose and Emmett turned without speaking a word. I had already known who it was standing at the door.
“Bella.” One of the two voices spoke.
I looked down at Alice, and kissed the top of her head, whispering into her ear “We will get through this, I promise we will” saying it so low only she would be able to hear. She only nodded and began to get up, knowing that the other person standing there was waiting for her.
I helped her up, and we both turned around to face them.
Edward was in the doorway of the living room, his face was a mask of blankness. Jasper was at the entrance to the house, his face was different from Edwards, but too hard to tell what he was feeling, I was sure Alice knew though. No one knew Jasper like Alice did, and a part of me ached inside at the thought.
“We need to talk.” Edward spoke again, the whole room was paralyzed, Emmett and Rose hadn’t moved and inch since they turned to see Edward and Jasper standing there.
I looked over at Alice and the moment I did my heart broke, her face was of guilt and pure sadness. I knew the guilt was for Jasper and the sadness was for leaving my side. She slowly walked past Edward, who didn’t even so much as look at her, his eyes were on me, and over to Jasper, who took her by the hand and lead her outside. I heard their feet moving quickly into the forest, and I listened till I could no longer hear them.
I sighed and walked over to Edward, he didn’t take my hand like Jasper did with Alice, he just turned around and walked out of the house and to the porch, where he took off like a bullet. No one in the family ran as fast as Edward did. I knew where he was going though, and I quickly picked up my pace behind him as we headed towards our cottage.
I knew for the rest of the night I wasn’t going to see Alice, and I felt as though my heart broke yet again at the thought. I knew, wherever she was with Jasper, she felt the same way.
This was the judgment she was talking about, this was it, what we needed to face, and now more than ever before I so badly wished Alice was standing next to me to give me the strength I needed for what was to come.
Edward walked into the cottage as I walked in behind him, closing the door. He didn’t turn to face me yet, and I just stood there, waiting till he could say something.
Several minutes passed, and we just stood there like two statues. It was easy to be like this when a vampire, as a human I’m sure I would have fidgeted or moved around, but now, I was as still as he was, waiting for him, and I wasn’t sure at first if he was waiting for me.
After about possibly ten minutes of the silence, I sighed and took a step forward getting ready to say something when he turned his head to the side and simply said “Don’t.”
I took a step back, and now we were in the original spaces we had been since we entered our home.
Finally after another five minutes he sighed and turned around, facing me and looking me in the eye. His face was very clear to read, if he was human he would have been crying, and my heart went out to him, because I had done this to him. Edward was someone I thought I would never ever hurt, not in a millennia, but I had. I felt horrible and disgusting for ever doing such a thing.
“Bella, how could you have done this?” He asked me sincerely.
“I’m so sorry Edward, I never meant to do this to you, but I cannot stop my true feelings. I did try, I truly did, but it was too hard, too difficult to stay away from –“
“Don’t say her name” He said quickly as he put up his hands in a defensive mode.
I fell quiet, not knowing what else to say.
He sighed once again and sat down in a chair in our small but nice living room. I didn’t know if I wanted to sit down, it didn’t bother me either way.
He put his head in his hands and shook it as if saying no to whatever I was going to say.
“I love you, with every inch of my being; I’d give my life for you, is that not enough?” He spoke looking up at me with sorrow.
“I know you do, and I do love you in return, but what I feel for…” I almost spoke her name, but I knew I couldn’t. “What I feel for her, it’s different, it’s much, much more different and I can’t refuse it. I’m so sorry.”
He didn’t say anything to that; he only put his head back in his hands and silence fell upon us once again. He sighed, nodded his head as if he was accepting this, or whatever it was he was about to say because he picked his head back up, stood, and took a few steps till he was now directly in front of me. I had to pull my head back to look at him, since he was so much taller than me, but nowhere near the size of Jake, I thought quietly to myself.
He looked down at me, and kind of smiled, though I wasn’t sure if it was actually a smile or a surrender to what was happening, but he put his hands on the top of my shoulders, and he sucked in a breath, preparing himself for what he was going to say, I waited patiently.
“Isabella, I only ever want you to be happy, I’ve told you this once before, when the whole ordeal happened with Jacob, I feel as though now the past is repeating itself, except this time, you don’t choose me. I would do anything for you, give you anything you wanted, and now I see that this is what you want. You deserve to be happy, and I want you to be happy, even if it not with me, I can accept that.”
At first I didn’t know what to do, how to respond, but before I could, Edward pulled me into a tight hug, and I hugged him back. I felt what we had, what we were, what we went through together, everything that has happened either between us or while we were together, the past four and a half years of my life I spent with Edward , it all slipped away as our hug broke. My slate was now blank, I once thought that my eternity was always going to be with Edward, I couldn’t think of anyone else I wanted to spend it with, and now – now I see… Alice is my future, my destiny, and I was ready to begin it with her. I couldn’t wait to see her, I honestly couldn’t. I wondered if she saw this, wherever she was with Jasper, and for a split second I was worried, what if it didn’t go as well with Jasper as it did with Edward. I felt empty without her, I needed her right now, but I accepted having to wait.
I looked up at Edward and smiled widely at him, he only semi returned it, and I didn’t blame him. While this was a happy moment for me, it was probably the worst moment of his existence, and I felt absolutely horrid inside because I was the cause of it. My smile faded and I looked down at my feet, Edward put his hand under my chin and lifted my head to look at him.
“No, Bella, please don’t be sad, this is what you wanted, is it not?” He asked seeing the hurt in my eyes, but what he didn’t see was that it was mirroring his.
“I am, but Edward, I’m so sorry for what I’ve done. I truly am, you shouldn’t forgive me, you should hate me, scream at me, yell at me, never want to see me again. I’m so sorry.” I put my face down again. He didn’t say anything for a minute.
“Bella look at me.” He commanded, and I complied, I looked up into his century old eyes. “I will be okay, I will. I know you didn’t mean for it to happen, and I know love as well, and love is unexpected. Doesn’t matter where you find it, as long as you do. I know you tried, I know both of you did, I’m no fool Bella, and neither is Jasper, we both had known.”
“You knew?” I wasn’t as shocked but somewhat.
“Yes, I mean we didn’t know all of it, but we both knew there was something between both of you. We didn’t know at first, but it didn’t take long for me to see it. I may not be able to read your mind, but I do know you well enough. Whenever you were around Alice, it was like you changed into this whole other person, your eyes would lock onto hers and it was like mountains were moving, I noticed it a few times. When you bushed against each other it was like your skin went from the normal temperature to a fire. Of course it wasn’t only you, but I saw it in Alice as well… around me her mind became very clouded, murky sort of, even around Jasper and I’d never seen it before not in over fifty years they’ve been in the family, then when you would come into the room, it was crystal clear. Jasper and I would look at each other when this would happen, and we both knew.”
I could believe that they had known, after all the way they acted when we told the family was a clear indication that they had known all along. Now I felt a little foolish to the sneaking around because they had known all along.
“So when we told the family -“I began to ask, but he cut in.
“Yes, we knew then, it’s why we just left, and I’m sorry for that, I know you were looking for my support but you must understand I needed time.” His eyes begged for understanding, and I nodded my head.
He walked past me now, towards the door, but instead he looked out the window, and just starred, at what I had no idea, but he looked very lost in his thoughts. And I began to go through my mind as well, processing everything that he had just told me, and I wondered a few things.
“Is Jasper –“I began to ask, but once again he knew where I was going and cut me off. He was still looking out the window when he spoke.
“Jasper is a much better man than I am, he accepted this before I even suspected. He knows Alice better than anyone, and he didn’t have the barrier with you that I have. He could feel your emotions as well, and because I could read his thoughts I knew what you were feeling, what she was feeling as well.”
“What happened when you left?” I asked.
“When we left together, it was him who made me go. He didn’t want to leave honestly, he wanted to stay and be there for Alice when he needed her most, to be there for the both of you, but he felt the rage flowing within me, and he told me to leave with him, so we left. He talked to me some while we were away, and other times he let me be to my own thoughts. I needed those two days, and I’m sorry for not explaining, but I was scared I was going to do something I would later regret.” He then looked over at me, and gave me my favorite smile, that crooked smile of his, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He once again turned to the window and began to talk again.
“We went deep into the forest; I kept running until we almost reached Canada. He let me run, staying silently behind me, waiting for me to speak, if it wasn’t for him, we would be having a very different conversation right now. When I finally slowed, I turned to him and screamed ‘why?’ he didn’t speak for a moment but when he did, it wasn’t what I wanted to hear but it was what I needed to hear, he said ‘Because Edward, they are in love, like no other love I’ve felt before, I’ve been around countless couples, but theirs… it’s indescribable.’” Edward looked like he was lost in the memory of that moment, but then he smiled slightly and turned to me, “Then I knew, you were happy, and because I know Alice would treat you right, I am okay, and I support you and Alice.”
I didn’t know what to say, all I could do was walk over to Edward and wrap my arms around him as best I could, since he was big. I took a deep inhale of his sent, and I made a mental note of it, I never wanted to forget this smell. I may be madly and deeply in love with Alice, but Edward is a part of me that I could never ever forget, without him, my life would be horrible.
“Edward Cullen, you are truly the best thing to have ever happened to me, I am grateful to whatever it is out there that brought us together, and these past years of my life have been great. I thank you.” I said into his chest, he squeezed me tighter one final time then released me. He put his palms on both sides of my cheek, and kissed my forehead, I closed my eyes savoring this moment, because this was the last time I knew Edward and I were going to be like this.
When his lips parted, I placed my right hand on and touched it to his hand that was on my right cheek, and I kissed his palm, whispering “thank you” into it.
Right then I heard movement in the forest, someone was running towards the house, but even with the speeds they were running they were still some distance away. Edward looked up past me into the woods and he did the crooked smile that this time reached his eyes, and then he looked down at me.
“Well go get her.” He said nodding his head towards the door.
I smiled, took a second longer glance at him, then turned and went to the door, opening it I heard she was closer now, and I took off running into the direction she was coming in. I ran as fast as I could, as fast as I body would let me, until she came into view and I knew the smile on my face grew wider and wider with every inch we took closer to each other, until finally the gap was closed, and our bodies crashed together. It sounded like thunder, but didn’t hurt one bit. We didn’t hesitate one second, our lips crashed together, it was filled with satisfaction. Before I was curious to what happened with Jasper, but now I didn’t care. All that mattered was that Alice was in my arms, with her lips on mine.
When we finally pulled away, I put my forehead against hers and closed my eyes, in haling her intoxicating sent. Her hands where moving along my sides, and mine were lost and knotted in her hair. She smiled after a moment and I did the same as I looked into her eyes.
No words needed to be spoken; we just stared into each other’s eyes, happy as can be, though after several minutes she spoke.
“I missed you so much” she sighed
“I missed you too love. I felt so empty inside when you left my side”
“It’s okay, all that matters is this moment, and you’re here now.”
“And I’m not ever going anywhere.”
“Sounds good to me” I smiled.
She kissed me again, and this time this kiss was full of passion and want. I knew where this was going to lead. I broke the kiss, and took her hand, heading back to the cottage, where I knew Edward wasn’t going to be, I knew he would have left, knowing her and I would need our time alone.
It was going to be a very long and lovely night, I thought when we walked in and I closed the door behind us.
The second I closed the door Alice shoved me into it attacking my lips, and I didn't hesitate to part my lips, allowing her tongue access into my mouth. I loved the taste of her venom. My hands were roaming her body, going down traveling down her back until they rested very comfortably on her ass.
We passionately kissed each other for I don't know how long until I bit her lower lip and she growled. When her eyes opened and looked into mine all I could see was lust.
She pulled her body away from mine a little bit because she began to look me up and down as if assessing where she wanted to start first. It was arousing me more than I thought it could. As she looked she said "These clothes of yours have been on far too long dear"
"Then it is your job to remove them" I coyly said back.
She growled again and leaned in closer kissing me some more as her hands traveled down my back and stopped right underneath my ass, she then squeezed it and before I knew it she lifted me up, while I wrapped my legs around her waist. It was no effort for her to lift me up even with me being bigger than her.
I could feel my wetness soaking through my jeans as Alice only made me further aroused every second she kissed me like this. I knew we weren't going to make it to the bedroom, or at least it was going to be at least several hours before we would even try to make it there.
Alice with one hand ripped my shirt clean off me like it was paper, but I didn't care I had more than I needed. Her lips left mine and began to travel down my neck past my color bone to the center of my breasts, and back up again nibbling and sucking as well. I leaned my head back loving the feeling of her mouth on my skin.
I couldn't savor it too long because Alice started to walk backwards towards the couch, where she layed me down, she continued her kisses up and down my torso, kissing my stomach and back up again.
One hand traveled around my back, unclipping my bra while the other traveled to the buttons on my jeans, very skillfully she did them both with no effort needed. First to come off was my bra, then I figured my jeans would be next, but Alice stopped there, she began to kiss my stomach traveling up till her lips reached my nipples. She began to suck and lick them, while I moaned. My hands where in her hair as I watched her tongue do circles around them.
"Alice" I said between staggered breathes, and she stopped what she was doing and looked up at me. "Please" was all I said as I took one of her hands and put it on the buttons of my jeans, showing her what I wanted off, and what I wanted done. "Please baby."
She complied happily, she smiled as she unbuttoned my jeans and pulled my jeans off, and I had gone 'commando' that day so my jeans were all that needed to be taken off. Since the couch wasn't very roomy, Alice took my hand and moved me to the floor with her, I didn't care if it was on the floor or ceiling or in the woods, my mind was so hazy that it all didn't matter.
She hovered over me, kissing my lips lightly before sitting up while I was fully layed down, then she began to nudge my legs open, she took my leg and lifted it, while she began to kiss from my ankle to my calf, past my knee, then to my inner thigh until I could feel her hot breathe on my wet center. Than I felt her tongue lick from top to bottom and back up again.
No I wasn't going to last long at all.
My eyes rolled into the back of my head and my back began to arch, my moans I knew were loud and getting louder as my breathe became quicker as her tongue moved faster and faster around my clit, and while she did that, I suddenly felt her fingers several of them, slip inside of me and begin to move in and out quickly. She began to move her fingers all around inside, feeling me, as I felt her, and her name began to fall from my lips over and over while she caused such pleasure within me.
Than what she did next sent me over the edge I was on, I felt her lightly bite my clit then she began to suck. My body began to shake as the ripples of the orgasm went through me. If my heart was beating it would have failed because it was the best and most intense one I'd ever had.
Alice lightly licked me a little bit longer and it felt amazing. Than she traveled back up my body leaving a trail of kisses along the way. I smiled at her when she reached my lips, and she kissed me, I could taste myself in her mouth.
The kiss ended and i looked at her body not very happy with what I saw.
"So I'm fully naked and your fully dressed. This is no good" I remarked playfully.
Her eyes were playful then they turned to sincier. I was wondering what she was thinking and right about now it would be nice to have Edwards ability, but at the same time I like the challenge or guess in to what is going on in my dearly belovededs mind.
"I would love to continue this darling but I just want to lay here with you, hold you if I may?"
It toook me off guard and I loved it at the same time. I smiled, kissed lightly and snuggled next to her side. "Of course you may Alice, you may hold me whenever you like, we do have forever now" I contently sighed nuzzeling myself into her neck lightly kissing it.
She sighed as well and her arms went around me holding me tightly to her side, "we do have forever and I've never been so excited for our time to come. It feels fabulous."
"It does. I couldn't have predicted this is how it would all turn out, I've never been so happy. I love you Alice"
"As I love you Bella"
And we stayed there, quietly talking to one another as she stroked my back and I twirled my fingers across her stomach. This is how I knew it would be with us, calm, peaceful, and absolutly wonderful for eternity.
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