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Amanda - "What you need" - Cara/Kahlan - "Uber LOTS" - NC-17

Publié dans Legend of the Seeker

Write a review @ Amanda

Title: 'what you need' - mini series

Author:  Amanda (aka   seven_3_oh)

Pairing: cara/kahlan

Fandom: legend of the seeker - AU

Overall Rating: NC-17

Word Count: 13,372

Summary: total AU. Set who knows where, in more ‘modern’ times. Four part ‘mini’ series. Thank you honey,  da-mi inspira doamnă

Disclaimer: This is AU, TECHNICALLY the characters are MINE ALL MINE… but in all fairness props to ABC Studios, Disney, et all, as well as Terry Goodkind, and Bridget and Tab for inspiring awesomeness.

A/N: I normally shy away from AU’s of this sort, but in reading the AWESOME AU written by ministress , and after a certain someone (yes honey I mean you) read that story and asked me if I would consider writing an AU, this popped out. Just a little something to keep my fingers busy while I finish up something else.

Date: 08.16.2010

Chapter 1 : Tranquility

It was oddly quiet. Odd because of the old two lane highway that was just four hundred feet to the right and above. One would expect the constant drone of engines. Odd because the thick and rough current in the river that was a mere fifty feet below was churning. But it seemed quiet. The wind in the trees, the early evening birds, frogs, crickets seemed to have the floor of this serene concert hall. And even those sounds were turned down low.

She figured, as she rolled the cigarette between her left hand’s fingers that her ears were humming or numb from the three hours of exhilarating freedom of the motorcycle ride she had just experienced. Cara had always wanted to ride on a Harley, and today she had gotten her chance. And from such an unlikely source. Kahlan was not the woman Cara expected to be the first to give her the ride of her life. Cara was beginning to learn that what one expected in life and what happened were two different things. Taking another deep drag on her cigarette Cara turned her head before exhaling, to look over her shoulder at the thick cedar log that was placed on the patch of gravel on the cliff ten feet behind her.

A rustic place to sit. A lovely place to sit. A romantic place to sit. Set there by the designers of this park she guessed, those persons hoping to come up with some lovely mood setting, away from the play grounds and picnic benches. A place of quiet tranquility. And sitting there was Kahlan, her hands clasped between her knees, her eyes closed and her head back. The autumn sunset was catching the highlights in her auburn hair, her face. She was looking resilient and beautiful. The light reflected off of the white leather of her jacket, highlighted the long lashes of her closed eyes, illuminated freckles. Cara was looking all those things that she knew she couldn't look at. Not when Kahlan was straight, and she was the owner of that miserable 'just a friend' label.

Crushing the cigarette out beneath her scuffed boot heel, Cara walked back to her friend. She sat softly, her finger tips moving over the worn wood. She could smell the wood, the earth, but above that the leather and the perfume that was Kahlan. It was a natural perfume. Nothing store bought or fancy. It was her skin, her shampoo, and soap.

It was the same smell Cara noticed and commented on when they first met. An odd meeting. She never imagined that a speeding ticket would be the catalyst that would get her to this moment. That she would have made friends with the cop who pulled her over. Then again she never imagined she would have been so bold as to tell the cop who wrote her a ticket that she smelled damn good. Mortification set in when Kahlan looked over the top of her sunglasses and said thank you, before commenting casually that the two of them lived in the same apartment complex. Cara wanted to crawl under the seat of her sports car then and there.  Perhaps it had been fate that propelled them so quickly from predator and prey to friends.

And that is what they became. Through each event, each activity they did together, that seemed to solidify their growing bond, it also seemed to divide them. Push the wedge deeper inside of Cara. She knew it was overdramatic, unrealistic. She wanted to ignore her delusions. She wanted to accept reality. She wanted to enjoy her friend for who and what she was. But the attraction she felt would not leave her alone. Would not lessen, as it should.

"I am having an amazing day." Kahlan’s whisper cut through the silence, ceasing Cara’s own musings. She knew she had to return from them. Return to the reality of sitting here, beside the deep green river, beside the woman that inspired her mind to roam.

“So am I.” She replied.

"Doesn't seem like it. You got quiet."


Kahlan turned slightly. "You just mm'd me. You know I don't do the mm."

"I know." Cara grinned, knowing Kahlan would question, prod and poke to get her to talk.

"I'll interrogate it out of you."

"Oo! With your cuffs?"

"If you're really good." Kahlan pushed Cara's shoulder.

"MM." Cara exaggerated.


"Okay. Okay. Sorry. That’s the problem." Cara said softly. "Beautiful ride, beautiful place, beautiful day." Cara turned to look at her new friend, and really looked at her. Blue eyes met lighter blue green eyes. "Beautiful company." She confessed softly.

Kahlan blinked before licking her lips slowly. Her head moved, as if a nod of understanding.

Cara placed her hand on her arm, ready to explain, or rather to sweep whatever could have been implied in her comment and her glance under the rug. To deny it, in an attempt to save face and to rebuke the reality that she may have feelings.

"Don't say anything. One way or another Cara." She commanded, but her voice was kind. Slowly her lids lowered.

"Okay." Cara said quietly, transfixed by Kahlan's closed eyes, her pursed lips. Chastising herself as she wondered again, like she had before, what those lips would feel like against her own. What Kahlan's body would feel like as it tightened if her back was slammed against the nearest tree. How it would be to feel when her teeth bit down into her lip before she felt her body being turned to have the air knocked from her lungs as Kahlan commanded and ruled her with a kiss of fiery passion. That is what she thought about at that moment. Looking at her closed eyes. Slacken face. Cara wanted to sigh. But refused.

She wanted to just enjoy the moment, the quiet. But inside of her there were these thoughts of discord. The drumming of something. A beginning. A feeling she didn't want to be feeling. Feelings, Cara reckoned always got her into trouble. They led her down the wrong paths, they clouded her judgment and she believed in them more than she believed in what was true. Cara rubbed her temples. "All this introspection is sounding more like an EMO song stuck on repeat in my head."

"What?" Kahlan laughed.

"I said that out loud."

"You did."

"Oh boy."

Kahlan laughed even louder, and Cara stood, whipping her hands on the back of her jeans, before walking towards the bridge that held the highway above. "You make me laugh." She called after Cara.

"And I am glad."

Kahlan wondered if Cara really knew how torn she looked, if she knew that the pain was written in her eyes. If she knew that she was clearly broken. If Cara could just clear her vision for a moment to see that Kahlan did see, wanted to see, was there to see. And that it broke part of Kahlan knowing that she couldn't stop Cara's inner voices, couldn't help her catch up with reality. Kahlan wanted to lift her to grace. If just for a moment. She had always wanted to. From the first time she had seen Cara she had been fascinated by her. By the way the blonde moved. How she became part of her environment, as if she belonged. Kahlan had been trying to get through to her, in the hopes that she would open up, that she would see, that what Cara was trying to deny was right in front of her. Waiting.

Chapter 2 : Ask me

"Going out?" she asked, her voice somewhat hopeful, as she watched Cara walk up the stairs, her blonde hair perfect around her shoulders, her black leather pants painted on.

"Coming home." She replied with a smile that did not reach her eyes.

"Good night then?" Kahlan asked.

"Passable." Cara stopped on the step below her, looking up, lost for a moment it seemed, her eyes moving over the shadowy black of her uniform. Kahlan assumed it was because her hair was still down. It always made her feel different, and she was quiet sure it made her look different too.

"It's good we met like this."

"Oh? Did I break curfew?"

"No." Kahlan laughed. "You just haven’t been returning my phone calls and." She shrugged.

"Oh. Right. Yeah."

"It's fine Cara. I know you are...busy."


"Hey now." Kahlan teased, and was pleased to see the smirk on Cara’s face reach her eyes as she played along. "I am going away for the weekend, and I think you should come with me."

Her eyebrows jumped, "Excuse me?"

"I am sure your hearing is still working."

"It is."

"Then be ready. Early. Saturday." Kahlan stepped down, and was just a few inches away from Cara on the step. "I will not accept no as an answer. Only yes."

"Then why ask?"

"Why indeed." She stepped away, but their eyes still held. "6am! Saturday."

"You’re joking."

"I never joke about camping." Kahlan said as she looked away and began moving quicker down the stairs.

"Camping! Are you insane?"

"6am Cara!"

Her eyes did not want to completely open, and as she pushed on the old glass, chrome and oak door and stepped out into the Saturday morning beneath an already bright and blazing sun she groaned and reached to push down the sunglasses from where they had been resting on her head.

“Late night?” A voice asked huskily in her ear, and Cara could only grumble a reply. “Here.” Slowly she opened her eyes, to see Kahlan standing there, a smile on her face, her eyes twinkling, as she thrust a small cup of coffee in her direction.

“I think I love you.” Cara said as she grabbed the cup and took a sip.

“A girl can hope.” Kahlan said with a lift at the corner of her lips, and Cara choked on the first taste of the perfectly frothy cappuccino. “C’mon lil miss grumpy pants. We are wasting daylight.”

“Which is fine. Because daylight? Far too bright.”

“Who the hell is that?”

“That would be Richard.”

Her eyes narrowed as she watched him reach into the jeep, smiling as he pulled out a massive backpack. It would not be so bad, if he had the decency to be wearing a shirt.

“And he is here?” Cara asked.

“He is going with us.” Kahlan said matter-of-factly, as she pulled her own pack onto her back. “Richard is the best trail guide I know, and these mountains? Well. If you don’t know what you are doing you end up a pile of bones in the bottom of a ravine. Or in the belly of a bear.”

“Bottom of a ravine huh? Duly noted for when I need to dispose of a body.”

Kahlan tried to looked shocked. “Cara.”

“Hey officer, just telling the truth.” She half heartedly grinned, her eyes going back to the bronze skin, chiseled stomach of a man who was walking closer to them, a wide smile on his face. She was neither impressed or pleased, as was pretty sure that was written all over her face.

“Are you. Mad? That I?”

“What? Invited your very handsome boyfriend along? I could care less.” Cara said, pulling the smaller pack Kahlan had explained was hers from the back of her car, before slamming the trunk closed. “At least I hope he will be the one schlepping all the heavy bags.”

“But. No. Wait.”

“Didn’t you say we were wasting daylight Kahlan?” She called over her shoulder, already moving up the steep embankment of the trail head.

It did not take long before the stress of the work week began slipping from her pores, riding the healthy sheen of sweat that was making its way down the line of her back. Kahlan was at the point suddenly where she was asking herself again why she did not do this more often. There was such a calming peace to walking through the dense forests of evergreens, hearing the variety of bird calls and rustling underbrush from the furry forest dwellers. So much more enjoyable than the sounds of horns honking, tires squealing, excuses tumbling from the mouths of those hapless citizens who inadvertently were shocked when she was standing at their car door, her pen in hand.

Wondering if Cara was feeling as good as she was, she turned to see the blonde. She had taken off her thin jacket, and was wearing a skin tight red shirt. Normally Kahlan saw Cara in black. Maybe at times a hint of navy or thick grey. But this violent splash of color was new. It seemed to make her blonde hair appear all the move vibrant and her cheeks held a healthy glow to them. She looked beautiful, and Kahlan had to remind herself that a woman like Cara would not take kindly to being told that, nor having it said by someone as simple as Kahlan. Sometimes she would look at Cara and forget how to speak, and would feel like some bumbling school girl with a crush.

She was afraid that Cara had noticed, and that was why she had been avoiding her lately.

With an internal sigh she paused so that Cara was along side of her. “So, how are you doing now? More awake?”

“I’m fine.”

“Just fine?”

“It’s pretty here.” Cara shrugged. “Now if you are going to tell me that at the end of this trail there is a bar? I may be happier.”

Richard laughed. “No bars I am afraid.”

“Eh. I’ll survive.” She grinned.

“You are having fun. You just don’t want to admit it.”

“Mm.” She pursed her lips, but her eyes smiled.

Kahlan leaned closer to her, feeling a slight spark radiate through her body as their arms touched. “I can see right through you Cara.”

She chuckled. “You think so, but I know you can’t read me.”

“Want to try?” Kahlan asked teasingly.

Cara stopped for a moment, her smile slipped away. “Okay. Tell me Kahlan. What am I thinking about?”

Eyes tinted green looked up at her, and Kahlan felt just for a moment like she was peering into the deepest parts of the ocean, and that it was churning and pulling her under. Kahlan blinked, and looked at the line of her brows, the shape of her cheeks, her nose, and down to her lips, which were parted ever so slightly.

She had thought looking away from her eyes would have helped. It did not. She had no clue what Cara was thinking, because all she knew in that moment was she wanted to tell her what she was thinking. That she was tired of skirting around, and tired of being afraid. Kahlan wanted Cara, she just didn’t want to be rejected by her.

Rapidly her eyes moved back to Cara’s eyes. Kahlan knew that this might be her chance, to lock away her fear and to be honest. But fear pulled her confidence away and threw it into the underbrush.

“You are thinking about lunch.” She said pitifully, and her eyes widened as the tip of Cara’s tongue moved over her bottom lip.

“Not even close.” She whispered.

“What were you thinking of?” Kahlan asked, in a very similar whisper. She was almost positive that every strand of hair on her body was rising to attention, and that there were tendrils of energy moving between the two of them.

“There is a tree. Behind you.” Cara said, leaning into her, close enough that all Kahlan could see was deep aquamarine, and all she could smell was the unique scent of Cara’s sun warmed skin. “I was thinking about.”

“Come on you two! If we don’t keep at it we won’t make the summit in time for the sunset!” Richard chastised them, and Kahlan wanted to snap his neck suddenly, as the intensity in Cara’s eyes that had been increasing, as the brightness seemed to be sparking between them fizzled out.

“About?” Kahlan asked, hoping to keep a hold of the moment.

“Just the tree.” Cara said, moving away from her, even the tone of her voice was pulled away. “You heard the man.” She said and walked past Kahlan. She watched the way Cara’s hips moved beneath the loose shorts, the muscles in her calves danced as she took each step.

“Damn.” She grumbled, and shifting the back on her back began following.

She was beginning to think that this camping thing wasn’t too terrible after all. The air was clean, and had that sweet scent to it that she had always associated with the calm outside of the hustle and bustle of the city. Plus her body was tight; her muscles held that stiffness from being used, which was a sensation she hadn’t realized she missed until now. Plus, if that douche Richard,  kept talking and making Kahlan laugh, well then she could have more time to just watch her.

She popped another sun warmed raspberry into her mouth, as she walked between two large granite boulders to where she heard their voices. Cara’s feet stopped abruptly, and she spit the berry from her mouth as her eyes widened.

A few yards away Kahlan was kneeling, her back to Cara. That wasn’t what stopped her. No that was because Kahlan was kneeling in front of Richard, his hands were on her shoulders, and his head was titled back, a look of rapture on his face. It was completely evident what they were doing.  And while she liked watching Kahlan, watching her do this was something she could have lived her entire life without seeing.

With her teeth she ripped open the small wrapper, while the fingers on her other hand were holding the flesh of his upper thigh tightly in a pinch.

“I swear Richard; you are taking far too much pleasure in this.”

“Duh.” He laughed, and she pinched her fingers tighter and he whelped. Now freed, she took the Band-Aid and slapped it over the small injury in his leg. “Ouch!”

“Say thank you.”

“No. That hurt.”

“Leaving the wasp’s stinger in your leg would have hurt more.” She chastised him looking up. “Are you such a baby that you couldn’t have done this yourself?”

“It hurt! And well. You know I will take any opportunity to have you on your knees.”

“Ancient history my friend.”

“So you say.” He laughed, stepping back.

Kahlan set her hands on her knees and stood up. “I wonder where Cara is.” She mused and turned, just in time to see the red of her shirt disappearing into the thicket of trees. Her brows furrowed confused, until she looked at Richard, who was rooting in his bag, and then back to the trees. “Oh fuck me.”

“I keep offering.” Richard said not even looking up.

“Shut up.” She grumbled and took off in a jog towards the fleeing form of Cara.

“Cara.” She asked, seeing her standing on the edge of the cliff. It did not go unnoticed by Kahlan that Cara had chosen this vantage point to stand at, nor the thick plume of bluish smoke moving around her head.

“Why did you ask me to come here?” She asked, not turning.

“I.” Kahlan swallowed. How could she explain, in what words could she hope to string together the truth but also enough ambiguity to keep herself protected. “It’s a beautiful weekend, and scenery, and I thought you would enjoy the time away.”

“If I wanted time away.” Cara said turning around, smoke moving out of her full lips, “I would have hoped on a plane to Maui.” Her green eyes glimmered with anger, and she snuffed out the cigarette by rolling the burning tip between her two fingers. Her face registered not one micro expression or change, even though that had to have hurt like hell. “I didn’t need to trek up the side of a mountain to watch you and your boyfriend. Maybe once, a long time ago I would have been down for being a voyeur. But not anymore.”

“It isn’t what you think. I would never. Not with Richard.”

“Hello. He TOLD me that you two used to date.”

“Well. I.” Kahlan tucked some hair behind her hair, a nervous habit. Being on the receiving end of Cara’s glare was new, and she felt as though if she could she would burst into flames. That was how intense her eyes were. “That was a long time ago. He. There was a bee. And a stinger. And.”

“Why did you ask me to come?”

Exasperated her voice emerged, “I wanted to spend time with you!”

“We could have done that. Down there.” Cara said pointing back to the city, which though miles away, was glistening in the setting sun like some mythical city from the story books.

“You stopped talking to me. What was I?”

Cara walked past her slowly, “Little tip about me? Asking me to trek into the middle of nowhere? Not the best way to get me to open up.”

“Why do I feel like we should take turns standing watch?” Cara mumbled, poking at the fire with the remnants of a thin twig.

“Afraid of random bands of marauders are we?” Richard asked as he tossed his pack inside the small blue tent he had set up.

“Stranger things have happened.” Cara joked.

“Yeah, doubtful. We are not in some desolate country, Cara. We are not at war.”

“Um, beg to differ.” She snapped.

Kahlan’s angry voice said Richard’s name, and he looked sullen.

“Hey, Cara, listen. I didn’t mean.”

“Forget about it.” She shrugged and tossed the burning stick into the small fire pit. Clearly from the looks bouncing between those two, Kahlan had explained to Richard a little of her past. One never was viewed the same once people knew you had spent time in the war zone. She brushed her hands together and stood. “Well then, while this is the time of night I am normally going out, I seem to think that up here in bum-fuck-egypt we are supposed to sleep?”

Kahlan chuckled. “Yeah. Big day tomorrow.”

“We are going back down the way we came up? I would hazard a guess that it will be an easier walk.”

“Not on the trail I like to take.” Richard grinned and then stretched. “Try and get lots of rest. I promise you will need it.”

Her eyes were counting the stitching in the top of the tent.  It was giving her mind something to focus on. She needed some semblance of focus. It was too disconcerting, the sound of complete silence in these woods, and the haunting blue of Kahlan’s eyes, and the ache she felt in her stomach when unwanted the vision of Kahlan kneeling in front of Richard poked her subconscious with a sharp stick. It was a man like that who would love Kahlan. Who would be able to make her proud to stand beside them, who could love her.  Someone strong, happy, whole. Not a broken shell of a person who didn’t like to look at their own image in the mirror because they could see through their eyes into their deaden soul. Kahlan deserved so much more than a broken ex soldier who had seen too much and for whom every day was just one more moment of confused torment. So Cara counted stitches. And waited for the sun to rise so she could rush back to the comfort of her dark apartment and the dark dank clubs where Cara could lose herself in someone else for a few hours. Granted the light from the fire was waning, but still, she had gotten up to twenty three stitches before a shadow bloomed between the flames and her tent.

Her eyes narrowed, listening. Footsteps. Hesitant. She assumed it was Kahlan, slipping away from camp to relieve herself. So her eyes widened slightly as the zipper to her tent was tugged, and then rasped as it was opened. Faintly she watched as Kahlan, wearing only a long white tee-shirt crawled inside of her tent, and then zipped back up the flap.

“Can I help you?” Cara asked softly.

“You’re awake.”

“Yeaaaah.” Cara drawled, sitting up and resting her weight on her elbows. Her eyes moved over Kahlan slowly, taking in the striking contrast of the white material against her dark hair, and her skin. She seemed to glow as she moved to sit beside Cara. She watched, ever attentive, as Kahlan looked down at her hands.

“I wanted to apologize.”


She sighed. “Where do I start?”

“Nowhere. There is nothing to apologize for, Kahlan.”

She closed her blue eyes for a moment. And then a few moments more. They did not open again until she had started speaking. “I like spending time with you Cara. It is…it’s nice. And, I had hoped…” Her voice trailed off, and Cara waited, not sure what this was all about. She had never known Kahlan’s face to wear this look of worry before. It was oddly new.

“Hoped?” She pressed.

“You’ll think I’m silly.”

“Probably.” She regarded her. “So. Hoped?”

“That we could work past whatever this is.” She motioned with her hands.


“Whatever happened? It’s like suddenly there is a fifty foot wall between us.” Kahlan confessed. “Cara I….”

“Maybe the wall is there to protect you.” She offered sadly.

“Protect?” Kahlan’s eyes narrowed. “From?”

“Things.” Cara skirted.

“What were you thinking about? Before? When I guessed horribly wrong?”

“The tree.”

Kahlan sighed.

“How it was the perfect width to support you, to press you against it, and still have room to set my hand over your shoulder.”


“To lean into you. To feel. Something. To kiss you. That is what I was thinking about.” Cara’s arms moved and she fell roughly onto her back. “So be disgusted, and upset. But that is the truth, that is what I was thinking.”

“Why would I be disgusted?” Kahlan asked, her voice hitching slightly.

“You’re straight. I know that. The lines are clearly drawn. So you never have to worry. I know my place.” Cara hated when she sounded defeated.

“Perhaps I am so rusty at this I have not been clear.” Kahlan mumbled. “Cara there are no lines drawn. Or if you see them? They were not drawn by me.”

Rolling her head she looked up at Kahlan, who still looked completely nervous, and there was the faintest hint of color in her cheeks. For a half a second Cara was pretty sure she was asleep. Because this was too surreal for any reality.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean. If you had told me that? Earlier? I would have asked you to show me.” She whispered.

“Asked.” Cara whispered in disbelief.

“Ask me,” Kahlan offered softly.

Chapter 3 : Close

Kahlan was close. Very close. Cara knew she could lift her arm and with it only half extended her hand would brush against her thigh. That was close. Granted she had been closer. She knew what it felt like to press herself into Kahlan's back, for her arms to surround her, to rest on her hips. She had experienced that on the back of her Softail Harley. Cara knew that closeness. But it was a closeness that was expected, a touch that was inevitable. This? If she was to reach out her hand, if her fingertips were to touch bare thigh, it may not be expected. It was certainly not a touch that while being savored could be interpreted as something else.

Kahlan looked at her. Waiting.

Ask me, she had whispered. Tremble in tone. As if she were the one who was frightened, as if by some odd alignment of the stars Kahlan was the person in this subtle dance for two who was nervous, afraid of rejection.

"Kahlan?" She was not ready to speak, but did so anyway.

Blue eyes disappeared behind slowly falling lids.

"Would you have truly done that? Asked me?"

"Yes." She breathed.

Cara closed her eyes, so she did not see what the reaction was or may have been. She was terrified to see anything resembling rejection or disgust, and knew it would still any and all future advances if she had seen it. So Cara closed her eyes, and she extended her hand. But she reached beyond the smooth skin of Kahlan’s thigh, and her fingertips touched her arm, two fingers feeling the soft white of her shirt. Slowly, with enough restraint so Kahlan could pull away, her fingers moved down the length of her arm, over her wrist, the back of her hand, to clasp it, to hold her hand, and her grip tightened. Her throat was choked full with desire, and fear, and her voice remained hidden, as did her eyes. She pulled, gently, more of a request than a demand on Kahlan's hand, and as her ears heard the soft sigh, as they picked up the faint sound of skin moving against the material of her sleeping bag her eyes did flitter open. Their hands were still holding, and Kahlan's eyes were wide, and the brightest blue, even in the half light. She pulled, and Kahlan knew, and moved instinctively, to lay down beside her, as their entwined hands came to rest over Cara's shoulder.

She turned her head and pressed her lips to Kahlan's wrist, and blinked as she heard the softest most delicate sound coming from the brunette. Pulling her lips away she licked them subconsciously, before placing them more firmly against the inside of her forearm.


She turned her head, worried for a moment, but that worry exploded into the nothing one feels the first moment lips are pressed to their own. That moment where time stops, where there is no sound, there is no movement, one doesn't even breathe. In that first press of lips the world ceases to exist. Until everything implodes and explodes and all of your senses bounce back a thousand times more acute. Her eyes were wide, and Cara swore that in the dark of the tent Kahlan's eyes had turned black. Her pupils were that dilated and the feeling so passionately overwhelming.

Releasing Kahlan her hands moved over her body, one dancing through her dark brown hair, the other resting on the side of her face as Cara, now aware, kissed her back. As their lips pressed into the other, as her eyes slammed closed because her sense of taste, touch and smell were so very strong it overpowered her ability to see. This was Kahlan, kissing her back, equally. For every brush of Cara's lips, Kahlan returned it in kind. Matched her. As their lips parted, as Cara slipped her tongue slowly into Kahlan's mouth they both moaned equally, and as their tongues moved, brushed and pressed they did so in harmony.

Cara's back arched as the kiss deepened further, as Kahlan shifted her weight more on top of her, and her hand moved up to grasp Cara's neck. The touch was gentle but it still sent shivers down her spine to her toes and back up along the surface of her skin.

She knew kissing. She knew the art of kissing. But even the most amazing kiss she had ever participated in before paled and turned to ash and blew away. It was nothing compared to this kiss. This kiss was scalding hot, increasingly wet, and full of emotion that even Cara did not know she was capable of feeling.

Her hand on Kahlan's cheek moved down her body, over soft white cotton, to her naked hip, just above the waist band of the very short shorts Kahlan was wearing and she nudged her more. Kahlan complied and all of her weight, and her height was on top of Cara now. They were only separated by their clothes, and the thin sleeping bag. But to Cara it was as thick and tough as if leather was between their skin.

Growling she pulled her lips away, and panted as she looked up into Kahlan's eyes.

They looked down at her, and seemed to look inside of her.



"Kiss me." Cara whimpered and Kahlan wasted no time in obeying. Her hands were in Cara's hair, grasping her like a life line as she took Cara's mouth, as she ravaged it; truly and thoroughly kissed her. When Cara's hands gripped her ass, and pulled her closer, and she shifted so her thigh moved between Kahlan's, she moaned. She moaned feeling teeth pressing into her bottom lip, she moaned feeling Kahlan as she pressed down. She moaned as she felt that with each firm caress of Kahlan's tongue inside of her mouth, the brunette's hips rolled in tandem.

Her blood was boiling and her need was coursing through her faster than any car, or jet. Her desire for Kahlan went from a smoldering ember into a raging five alarm fire in an instant.

"God." Kahlan panted, sucking in some much needed air. Cara took the opportunity to lick along the line of her throat. "Cara, I."

"What?" She mumbled, her lips pressing along the line of her jaw.

"Oh, I... god I..."

"Ask me." Cara purred.

With a groan Kahlan kissed her again, and this time, Cara rolled the two of them, and while they were still separated by that damn material, and as much as she wanted to rip it away, Cara was far too focused on kissing Kahlan back, hard, and deep. Her own hips bucked, as she felt the pressure of a thigh between her legs, and she felt the growing white heat building from deep in her belly.

"I want you." Those three words spoken by Kahlan made her clenched painfully and she knew she whimpered with the pain and the desire that was burning her skin. She was surprised there wasn't smoke filling the damn tent by now.

"You can have me." Cara replied, before kissing Kahlan again, before her teeth captured and then caressed Kahlan’s tongue. She felt the woman beneath her tremble, and knew they were both rocketing towards the edge, and it was too damn soon, and there were too many damn clothes in the way.

Begrudgingly she removed her lips from the swelling ones below her, and set their foreheads together with a sigh.

"We should."

"Yeah." Kahlan panted. "I don't want."

"Me neither." Cara groaned.

Reason made her word tight. "But."

"Yeah. We should."

"Don’t want to."

“Me neither. Best.”

“If we do. But wow.”

"Oh yeah."

"Did you ever?"

"Think that it was going to be? No no way. But you. The way you."

"Oh my god, and you."


Kahlan bit her lip. “So. We know now that this? Us. Doable.”

“Very.” Cara said and kissed the tip of her nose, still amazed at the machine gun way they seemed to finish each other’s thoughts with half sentences. She didn’t want to stop, Kahlan didn’t want to stop, but in the back of her mind she knew they should. For a handful of reasons. A big one was Richard sleeping not more than twenty feet away.

“Now what?” Kahlan asked, her hands moving slowly over Cara’s back, in a soothing gesture, but her tone was anything but. She sounded downright terrified.

“Now we sleep.”


“Stay. Sleep here. And tomorrow? Well tomorrow we will see what happens.” Cara said gently.

“See what happens.” Kahlan said in a sigh.

Understanding, because she felt the hesitation too, her palm pressed against Kahlan’s cheek and she looked deeply into her eyes, and tried to be serious and sincere. “Kahlan, I really fucking like you. And I really want to see what happens. No pressure. No promises. Just, let’s see what happens. And, I'll let you be the little spoon, okay?”

Smiling softly she nodded, “Okay.”

"So.” Richard drew the word out, as he looked over his shoulder. Kahlan looked as well, and grinning when she saw Cara. The day had been calm, and any strange tension she had expected had not appeared. They all began the hike down the mountain in good spirits, and there were even some occasional jokes cracked. Now at the halfway point they were stopping to gather up some berries. Cara had called dips, and was picking fresh blackberries and putting them into a large bag a few yards away. Kahlan was tasked to find the much more elusive raspberries. Richard was supposed to unpack their lunch, but as he looked down at Cara and then back to Kahlan he seemed more focused on something else. “You like her then?"

"Why do you say it like that?" Kahlan’s eyes narrowed.

"Well...I mean.” He dropped his pack to the ground, and his gray eyes smiled at her as his voice continued, “don’t get me wrong, I totally see why you would be attracted to her. Cara is like the living embodiment of sex. She’s the type that would tell you to crawl over glass and you would do it just to see what she could do to you next. Like you can look at her and just know a woman like that could sprain your dick. So I get the desire to fuck her. I just don’t see the appeal to mess up your whole life to like, date her."

"Did those words all just come out of your mouth or do I have heat stroke."

"What? C'mon Kahlan. I know you. I know what you like, and I know how you are so very much the 'this is the right thing to do' and your whole ‘logic is the only path to righteousness’ shtick. The bad girl? So not you." He crouched down to start pulling sandwiches from his bag, as if this conversation was about the new foliage on the maples trees, or who had been signed as the newest running back for the football team.

"You don’t know me that well." Kahlan growled not at all amused by him.

"Please. I know you and your type. That one? She will be a fun ride, but she is not the type of girl you bring home to meet your parents."

"God, you are such a blind asshole."

He handed her a sandwich and she smacked it and his hand away.

"No. I am a dude. You know it is true. After the thrill of the hunt? After she’s rocked your world? She will make you miserable, or, make you crave some real stability."

Her arms crossed over her chest, and her eyes zeroed in on his. Her lips pursed and she half smirked. “You shit. Now I know you are trying to bait me. Because you are not this guy. You are not the sort to talk like this or even think like this. So why are you tormenting me? It's not jealousy." She thought. "You are trying to get me to admit to how I feel."

"Ah. You are too smart sometimes." He bumped their shoulders together. "You know I don't get the whole gay thing. But yeah. If it makes you happy? Why not. I just want you to go into this with your eyes wide open."

"They are."

"Oh, and I did mean it when I said she was pure sex. Damn. She smolders."

She shoved him. "You're still an asshole."

"Yeah. I am." He laughed and threw her sandwich at her this time.

He held his arms out to his sides, stretching, and looking over the pristine ravine and valley below. She had watched and waiting and silently walked up beside him and with one hand she shoved against the small of his back, and the other she grabbed his belt, holding him steady.

The scream that echoed through the wilderness made her smile that much brighter.

He spun around, eyes wide, and Cara took a step back from him, still grinning. “HEY! Long fall. LONG PAINFUL FALL.”

“Well then keep your mouth shut and you won’t… you know, end up a footnote.” She winked and then turned and walked back down the small thin trail to where she knew Kahlan was waiting for them.

“Oh. You heard that huh?” He called after her.

“Every word, Dick!” She replied back, feeling a little bit better.

Chapter 4 : Can't always get what you want

"Hey." Kahlan whispered and took her arm, and then pulled.

Cara grinned as she felt the tree press into her back, and looked up into the warm blue eyes. "Hey back." Stuck between the firm tree and the body that leaned into hers made whatever tension she had been feeling moments ago slip away, to be replaced by a different sort of tension all together. One that was very welcome.

"He didn't mean it." Kahlan said softly, as her fingertips brushed some wayward strands of blonde hair away from her face.

Cara felt her eyes narrow. "Part of him did."


"Kahlan. Let's not talk about him."

"Let's not talk." Kahlan agreed and pressed their lips together.

The previous agreement of not touching that had been unspoken yet had lasted most of the day was obliterated by the pressure of lips, and the taste that consumed Cara as Kahlan slipped her tongue into her mouth. Her body temperature soared instantly at the touch. She wanted more, and pulled Kahlan's hips closer as she deepened their kiss. The explosive tension in her body seemed to elicit the same response in Kahlan, whose taller body seemed to be everywhere suddenly. From the hand on her neck, to the hand grasping the side of her breast; to the thigh between hers, and definitely the tongue that was very forcefully making a lot of promises inside of her mouth. Cara pressed back just as ardently, her body screaming of need, and perhaps it was a little too much, because, panting Kahlan pulled her lips away. Cara growled softly.

"God. You. You kiss."

"Amazing?" Cara half joked.

"Yes." Kahlan ran her hand over her own face. “We… shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Oh? And why is that? Because your body is telling my body that it really wants to be doing this.”

“That may be well and good, and a lot true.” Kahlan smiled, “But I don’t think we should get to first base in the middle of the-”

“I’m planning on hitting a home run. And so are you.” Cara set her hand on the center of Kahlan’s chest, and looked up into her darkening blue eyes. “Tell me I am wrong?”

“No. Not wrong.” Kahlan licked her lips, methodically, as her eyes moved over Cara in a way that was very much akin to being undressed. She was somewhat disappointed when the eyes rejoined hers and she was still clothed. Kahlan sighed gently, her hands resting on Cara’s on her chest. Her eyes spoke of promise in a way Cara had never allowed herself to fantasize about, nor had ever seen. It made her swallow suddenly, her bravado slipped away, and she felt nervous and unprotected.

Perhaps sensing that, Kahlan brushed their lips together gently before she said, with a smile. "C'mon. Not much longer and we will be back to civilization."

Richard threw his pack into the back of his Jeep and turned with a smile, “That was fun, almost like the old days.”

“Oh really?”

“Granted it was a lot more fun watching the two of you having eyesex all day today that it used to be when Davie and Chuck would go camping with us.” He grinned and then pulled her into a big hug.

“Oh my god you stink.” Kahlan’s nose twitched and she grimaced.

“Yes, he does. And now you are going to stink like boy.” Cara said as she walked past them to the car Kahlan had rented. Kahlan just rolled her eyes smiling, and gently pushed Richard away from her.

“A week. Me. You. Beers. And stories.” Richard said. “Hey Cara, it as nice meeting you!” He called moving back to his Jeep.

“No it wasn’t.” She said, but her voice was laced with humor.

“Stories? What stories?” Kahlan asked.

“Mark my words, there will be stories. And I expect details!” He chuckled and turned over the engine.

“What in the.”

“He means he wants you to tell him in detail about all of the abhorrent things you are going to do to me.” Cara’s voice purred beside her.

She turned her head, knowing she was grinning. “That I am going to-“

“Do to me. Yep, that’s what I said.” Cara smirked and then moved to kiss Kahlan. But stopped. “Ew. You do stink.”

“Yes. I know.” Kahlan bantered right back.

"So." Kahlan said after they had driven down from the dirt road and were back on compact asphalt.

"Oh no." Cara grimaced.

Kahlan laughed, "Oh no?"

"OH NO." Cara stressed and crossed her arms looking out the passenger window. "You want to talk."

"Well, yes, I do. You don't want to talk?"

"Eh, not particularly."

"But I think we should."

"Of course you do."

"What would you rather do?"

"Pull the car over and I will show you." Cara said moving her eyebrows exaggeratedly.

"Oh. OH! That will just get us into more trouble." Kahlan said, feeling a blush rising up under her cheeks.

"Ideally, yes."

She signaled and then turned to move up the onramp to the freeway which would lead them back into the city. Once merged she looked at Cara out of the corner of her eye, to see she was still looking out the passenger window, still keeping her lips together. Kahlan knew that Cara was not one to talk at length, but she was hoping they could talk some. If only just a little. "We've talked before."

Cara groaned. "Yes, we have."

"Cara." Her tone was pleading and she knew it. She wanted to plead. She wanted to clear the air because Kahlan for all her usual confidence was terrified at the prospect of what this blonde woman offered her. Not just the sexual experiences, which she was quite sure would be a very detailed and wonderful tutorial, but more. There was something innate about Cara. Something in her eyes, in her voice, in her presence that called to Kahlan. That made her want to know more, to become closer to her. She had moments where she could lose herself in the deep tranquility of Cara’s green eyes, and that peace was addicting. It was addicting enough to urge her to push past her nervousness and ask for what she knew she wanted. And in coming as close as they last night, it only doubled Kahlan’s want, as well as her fear.

"Fine. Okay. Talk."

Undaunted, and a little pleased with herself, Kahlan began. "We've been friends for almost a year; it isn’t like this is a foreign concept. I know it isn’t your favorite thing to do. But still."

Cara gave her a look just then, a look that melted part of Kahlan. A look that seemed to say that whatever she wanted? Whatever secrets she wanted Cara to confess, she would.

"When did you?"

"Kahlan I wanted you the first moment I saw you."

She chuckled self consciously. "No you didn't. I was pulling you over."

"Oh. I did. And I saw right away the look of anger in your eyes."

"Well, I think that was more me judging you. And I am sorry for that." Kahlan offered. "I just saw the blood red of your car, the erratic way you had been driving, carelessly, as if it didn't even cross your mind."

"What didn't?"

"The possibility of death."

"Ah that." Cara shrugged. "It always seems so temporary… hardly worth a thought."

"Riiiight. Well, I saw the red, I saw the violent behavior, I saw you covered in smirking leather without a drop of remorse and I was not pleased. Worse was when I recognized you."

"Your friendly neighborhood shut in."

"You are not a shut in. You are... were a mystery. An enigma."


"I hate when you do that."

"I know." A hand settled on her thigh unexpectedly and she jumped a little. “Kahlan. Do you know what you are doing?”

“Not really no.” She confessed. “But I know I want to.”

Once back in the city things became a little more than awkward. Cara left Kahlan to park the car, and went up to her apartment. For a moment she stood with her keys in hand, just looking at the numbers on the door. Just staring at the way they curved and the sharp angles. There was a very good possibility that in the time it took to find a decent parking place and the walk back to their old fashioned apartment building Kahlan would change her mind. That what she thought was happening in the fresh air and outdoors would be obliterated by the reality of their routine and their daily lives. Cara had wanted Kahlan for such a long time. At first it had been a physical need. The desire to know and posses her skin. But then, as Kahlan slowly immersed herself into Cara’s life she found herself wanting more. She wanted to see Kahlan smile, wanted to hear her laugh, and to hold her when she cried. To Cara the idea of doing anything with Kahlan was a hundred times more appealing that doing it with anyone else. And that made her think. And when she thought she remembered. She remembered her whole life and the lessons learned. That you can’t always get what you want.

She sighed and set her forehead against the rich mahogany of her door. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”

“You’re filthy for one. Probably tired?” Kahlan’s voice said softly.

Cara spun around, and there she was. Standing there. Her back pack over the shoulder of her white shirt, her blue eyes searching her face.


“Um, you said, ‘Kahlan, park the car and come up for a drink’ so why do you look surprised?”

“I… well I thought. Ah forget about it.” Cara said clearing her throat and kicking herself in the ass to regain some of her aloof power.

“You’re nervous.”

“What? No. I just thought you were being polite in saying yes. I am sure you have things to do.”

“Cara, I have things to do.” Kahlan said softly.

“Do you?” Cara asked, her eyes suddenly pulled in and lost in a sea of blue.

“Mm.” Kahlan replied.

“You never say Mm.”

“Maybe my lips like the feel of it.”

Cara’s brows twitched and she took a step forward, closer. “Do they?”

“Mm. See? They like it very much. It reminds me.”


“How they tingle when you kiss me.”

Cara swallowed at the tremble in Kahlan’s voice, and how Kahlan closed the distance between them. She was so close that as their breathing increased slightly their breasts whispered against one another. Slowly, she leaned forward, to kiss those perfect lips, their defined bow, and even the small scar that resided above and to the side, “Hmm. Should we talk?" Cara asked moving her lips back just before they brushed Kahlan's.

With a growl Kahlan grabbed the sides of her face and pulled her roughly to her. "No!" She hissed just before their lips mashed together.

As they moved through the apartment, Kahlan allowed herself to be lead by knowing hands, and sure steps, because the intensity of their kiss had not relented, and she did not want it to. It was like a thousand new sensations were happening all throughout her body. Feelings that were familiar, and others that were something she had never known.

It was when a harsh light shown down on them that Cara pulled her lips away, and Kahlan blinked, looking around. Small bathroom, white subway tiles on the walls and floor, massive white iron claw foot tub in the corner, surrounded by a clear curtain. It was exactly like her bathroom, but her tub was surrounded by a white curtain.

She swallowed, and looked at Cara, clearly understanding why they were here.

"Are you sure... that you want." Cara asked.

Kahlan pulled at Cara’s dusty tee-shirt, urging it up, exposing an expanse of wonderfully bronze skin, and then a black bra before she pulled it completely of off her. "Yes. I am sure. I so want."

Expertly Kahlan reached in and turned on the tap, and the water gurgled once before coming on in a heavy shower. Cara blinked. One moment they were both standing there, and the next her mouth was slightly open as a naked Kahlan stepped inside the tub, and turned to face her. The water fell atop her head, soaking her dark brown hair, and making it look even more luxurious. Her eyes followed the water over shoulders, down her large and enticing breasts. That was as far as Cara could look. Her eyes were burning with need, and she yanked and pulled off her shorts, boots, socks, everything in rapid succession.

As she stepped inside, and pulled the curtain closed around them, knowing that if she didn’t they would emerge out of the shower and into a small pond, Kahlan turned, offering her back. For a moment Cara watched as her hands moved up over her hair, before pulling it over her shoulder. The muscles of her back seemed to dance before her eyes. Cara stepped closer, and her skin became flush with Kahlan’s, so that she could feel the heat of the water as well as the heat that burning under Kahlan’s naked skin. Her hands moved up Kahlan’s sides and around her body, avoiding any of her erogenous zones, but still feeling her skin trembling beneath her touch. Slowly she moved to press her hand flat against her chest between her breasts.

“Are you sure this is what you want? That you want me?” Cara asked softly.

Kahlan turned her head slightly, before whispering, “Yes.”

“Kahlan… I…” She said gently, before pressing her lips to her shoulder blade softly. Cara felt her whimper more than heard it with the water falling down now on both of them. Cara held her tighter, resting her cheek against her skin, inhaling the scent that was Kahlan, which Cara would forever associate just with her. Kahlan’s hands came to rest on top of hers, holding Cara to her, as if knowing for that one moment in time Cara needed the closeness of her. Cara needed that connection, be it primal or science. She wasn’t ready to admit it aloud yet, but Cara felt it in her bones that she loved her. And for this moment, just one moment she needed to touch her. To hold Kahlan and to feel the tenderness of that love, and to closer her eyes with the hope that perhaps one day this woman may love her in return. Cara needed to feel her. And so for that one moment, she did.

Turning her head Cara set a kiss on Kahlan’s spine. A soft press of her lips, nothing more. Still Kahlan's back arched into Cara. Closing her eyes Cara set down a trail of kisses up her spine, as high as Cara could reach, which on tip toes was far enough to kiss and then gently lick the back base of her neck.

This time the sound of a whimper from Kahlan’s lips was loud enough to be heard over the falling water. Her hands separated on her chest, each moving to cup and lift a silky smooth and wet breast. Her lips moved to her shoulder, where Cara gently opened her mouth and pressed her teeth against her pale flesh, as Cara pinched her nipples between her fingers.

Kahlan arched harder against Cara. Cara could already feel the tension of need filling her muscles, matching the pounding of desire that her blood carried. She could feel it in Kahlan’s body as well. In the way her heart beat increased, in her breathing, and it was punctuated as Kahlan lifted her arm up and behind to grasp a tender handful of Cara’s hair. The tight instant pull sent electric shocks through her clit, and Cara groaned into Kahlan’s skin, pressing harder with her lips. The pulling of her hair eased, but still Kahlan was holding her.

Cara’s own hands released the prefect breasts, and slowly moved down over  water slick skin, as her lips moved down her strong back. As Cara reached the small of her back, she used her tongue to trail down Kahlan’s wet skin, down through the crease of her buttocks,  her fingers moving through her outer lips on the opposite side. Her knees hit the ground as Kahlan swayed, moving closer to each of her touches. Slipping her now doubly wet fingers to her hips Cara gripped Kahlan and began to slowly move her, letting her know that she wanted her to turn to face Cara, to look down on her as she kneeled in awe before her.

“No.” Kahlan sighed, her hands covering Cara’s.

“No?” Cara quirked her eyebrows, questioning. Her hands dropped to her lap and Cara watched as Kahlan slowly turned away, as she parted the back side of the curtain, and her palms opened against the tiled wall that was beside the tub. She had to lean out slightly, but only an inch or so, her breasts pressed against it, and the wide expanse of perfect skin, the muscles in her back twitching in anticipation offered to Cara. Her breath was sucked deeply into her starved lungs as Cara looked up at her offer.

A growl vibrated from her chest, filling the space, causing goose bumps to rise on her skin as Cara stood. Cara stalked the two steps closer to her, pressing herself against Kahlan roughly, leaning all of her weight into her.

“Tell me Kahlan.” Cara growled low, her fingertips turned so that her short nails left a line of sensitized and light red skin in their wake, from her shoulder to her hip. “Tell me what you want.”

“Want you.”

“Yes?” Cara licked at the water on her back.

“Take me.”

“Yes.” Cara bit softly, cupping her ass this time.

“I… I want to be…yours.” Kahlan whispered.

Cara groaned, pressing her throbbing sex against the back of her thigh, as her hand that was clutching Kahlan’s ass moved lower. Her fingers moved to tease Kahlan’s slick and wet opening from behind, and she bucked against Cara.

“You are.” Cara slipped two fingers inside of her, and her moan filled her ears like a symphony. “Mine.” Her voice and her thrusts were harsh, controlling, but with the control and underlying truth of tenderness and love. The movement of her fingers filling Kahlan was constant and strong. Thrusts she matched to be in time with the beating she could feel of Kahlan’s heart.  Her free hand moved over her skin, over her arm.  Her hand ran over hers, her fingers moving over strong digits. Cara could feel her tightening around her fingers, just as she was getting even wetter her inner muscles began tightening down. Cara pulled out almost completely, to add the third finger, before forcing herself back inside, deeper. And Kahlan’s body welcomed her. Opening and releasing a torrent of wetness before tightening up again, in counter time with her thrusts.

“Oh fuck, Cara.” Kahlan hissed.

“Kahlan,” Cara softly whispered her name, squeezing the hand she held, and increasing the speed of her thrusts, now she was pressing her own dripping center against the back of Kahlan’s thigh, rubbing against it. She moved her hand away, trailing it across her back, and then  around her gyrating hip. Cara’s head fell back as her fingers found her clit and attacked it. Rubbing, pulling, pinching.

She could feel her muscles contract just before the cry came from her lips, as Kahlan came around her fingers, and in her arms. Cara held her up as she trembled through her orgasm. As she felt the wash of calm move through her muscles she slowly pulled out of Kahlan. They both whimpered together at the lost of the touch. Kahlan turned around and they were instantly wrapped in each other’s arms. Keeping their eyes open they kissed, slowly, as if they were looking into one another. Seeing something. For the first time in her life Cara felt like she had just made love to someone. Even though it was rough, it didn’t seem to be about getting off, but of connecting.

“Why does my body feel like it wants more? That is wants you. That your touch,” Kahlan’s hand moved over Cara’s wet hair. “is familiar to me?”

Cara swallowed because she felt the same suddenly she felt like she was looking into someone so very familiar, and that suddenly she felt like she had found something she had not even known she was missing.

“Let me… touch you?” Kahlan asked softly.

Cara stepped out of her arms, her eyes moving with wonder of this woman. She was not just beautiful it was more than that. It was the honesty that seemed to roll from her mouth, and in her gestures. It made emotion roll up from a dark place inside of Cara. And as much as her body was dripping with want to be touched, she wanted to hold it, allow the torturous ache to grow and flourish for a little while more. “Soon. I promise. But first.” Cara reached for the shampoo, and filled her hands.  The smile on Kahlan’s lips was so very adorable that she had to lean forward and brush their lips together. “hey.” She admonished the hands that were moving to cup her breasts.

“Let me.”

“Fine. But I am washing your hair. And the rest of the wilderness off of you.”

“Yes, ma’am” Kahlan said, content it seemed to roll her thumb over Cara’s nipple, and watching her eyes flutter close each time. This time the groans from Kahlan’s lips were those of relaxation, as Cara massaged her scalp as Cara washed her hair.

Cara’s arms squeezed a little tighter. It was a vice grip, and it was nice. The feeling of someone holding you that tightly, truly evident that they did not want you to slip away. Kahlan sighed into the embrace that seemed to calm her racing mind, and her nervous spirit. She could feel Cara released some of the tension within her shoulders, the weight she carried with her everywhere, and nuzzled her face deeper against Kahlan's neck, feeling her arms holding her back just as tightly.

"You feel soft." She whispered, moving the hair over her ear in the tickling way, causing Cara to shiver slightly.

"So do you." Cara responded.

They had bathed one another wordlessly. Hands moving over one another’s bodies with the pressure of desire, but the strength of patience. It was a slow dance that Kahlan had savored. It was an exploration of skin that was familiar and so different than what she had expected. It was caresses and touches. It was soapy fingers slipping between legs; it was the chorus of the water washing away grime, and also doubt. It could have been hours they spent in the shower, touching, exploring, occasionally finding one another’s lips for a moderately chaste kiss, and it still did not seem like enough time to Kahlan. In the silence she found her hands did not shake. She was not nervous exploring Cara’s skin; on the contrary, it was as if with each touch she learned more. And wanted more.

Laying on the bed, some of her nerves had resurfaced, and if sensing them, Cara had enveloped her in a tight and safe embrace. She relaxed into the embrace and focused on feeling Cara’s heart beat, her breath.

Slowly she could feel the tension clawing back into Cara’s body.

Cara didn't know if she felt the tension return to her muscles, or the increase of her heart beat, or the shaking and nervous breaths that were puffed against her skin, but Kahlan released the power in her arms just as Cara was about to rebel from the embrace. Her strong hands with expressive fingers moved down her arms, as cold air cut between their bodies. Cara opened her eyes, looking down to see the same emotions she was feeling reflecting back. Kahlan’s eyes were moist and colorful. Expressive and seeing. But was she seeing? How far inside of Cara could she see, Cara wondered? Cara blinked, and she looked down, her head following her eyes, so that some wisps of hair moved to cover her face.

Kahlan instinctually moved, her fingertips brushing over Cara’s cheek to gather the stubborn hairs and tuck them behind her ear. Kahlan did not want her to hide, in fact as she looked into those blue eyes she was certain she would not let her hide.

A storm of emotions rallied in her eyes now, as she looked at Cara. It was her turn to radiate tension from her body, and she was doing a fabulous job of it. Cara could feel it coming off of her in waves. Cara gazed into the beautiful storm that was Kahlan, before eyes closed slowly, darkening the world and her senses as her lips were suddenly on Cara’s.

Soft. They were so very soft, and Cara mumbled the word against them. Cara knew the storm currents she was feeling. Cara had intimate knowledge of those emotions; hesitation, fear, the newness of what was about to happen, and so for a moment Cara let her lead. She let Kahlan take what it was she was seeking. Control, and calm in the storm.

Kahlan set her hands lightly on her hips, and Cara just followed her lead. Nipping her lips back, mimicking Kahlan. She pulled away, her thin eyelids rising, and the fear in her blue eyes was enough to break Cara’s heart.

"Shh." It was more a sound than a word, as Cara traced Kahlan’s lips with two of her fingers. While her burning with hesitation, she still amazed Cara, by lightly kissing her fingertips. Cara cupped her cheeks in her hands, caressing her skin with her thumbs as green eyes searched blue. Searched for something, but Cara wasn't sure what. “What ever you want.” Cara vowed, meaning it.


“Take your time. I promise. I am right here. Anything you want.”  Cara knew only one thing as she looked into her eyes, and her wet lips that parted. That Cara wanted to love her, wanted her to know she was loved.

“Show me.” Kahlan breathed.

Cara moved her hands up into her damp hair before pressing their lips together. This time the dance of their mouths was not Kahlan’s alone. It was both of them, and Cara was commanding. Cara wanted, needed to take the lead.

Kahlan’s lips never missed a step as they pressed and nipped at hers, and Cara returned in kind. Kissing her still with a force that emphasized her growing hunger Cara lapped her tongue against her upper lip, requesting. Cara felt their chests pressing tighter as Kahlan inhaled deeply and opened her mouth, granting what Cara sought. Slipping her tongue inside was greeted by Kahlan’s strong exploring muscle, twirling against each other, savoring and discovering the taste of the other. A low groan echoed in the nearly silent room, and Cara was distantly aware that she had made the noise.

Kahlan pulled her mouth away, and before Cara could speak her tongue lapped up the length of her neck, and Cara arched against her, into her. Her lips followed, exploring with feather light kisses along the length of her neck, towards the back of her ear. Cara was losing herself completely in the haze of Kahlan’s attention, until her arms went around her waist and pulled Cara tight. Locking Cara against her. She felt a mild panic building up inside that suddenly shattered round them as Cara looking into Kahlan’s eyes.  Cara reclaimed her lips, demanding immediate entrance, which Kahlan granted. Where she had kissed softly, Cara was now rough, demanding. Her hands went her back and grabbed Kahlan’s wrists, pulling them apart before reaching and placing and then holding them above her head. Holding her wrists there, using her weight versus any strength Cara sucked her bottom lip, pulling away slightly. Her blue eyes were open, and her mouth was kiss swollen, open and panting.

“I need you.” Kahlan declared breathlessly.

"Do you?" Cara asked, kissing her forehead softly.

"Yes. God yes I need you.”

Moving back Cara looked at her and she nodded. "Do you?" Cara asked again, but the question was a completely different one. Cara kissed each of her closed eyelids. "Do you?" Then her nose. "Do you, Kahlan?" Her lips found her cheeks next, and Cara kissed along the right one until Cara was against her ear. "Tell me. Do you?" Cara whispered.

“Yes.” Cara heard her gasp, and felt Kahlan apply some pressure to her wrists, wanting them released.

Cara loosened her grip and then moved her hands down her arms, to her hips, squeezing and feeling the flesh beneath them. With a low rumbling noise coming from her throat, akin to a purr, Cara kissed and licked her neck. Tasting her flesh and feeling her tremble against Cara. Meeting her lips again, plunging her tongue inside of her, Cara shifted her hips, pressing her leg between hers. As Cara lapped against her eyeteeth, Kahlan moved her arms behind her, palming her backside, and pulling her slightly closer.

Cara was groaning in the back of her throat for more. She plunged her tongue inside of her mouth again, taking her. Letting Kahlan know, in hints and caresses what being with her was truly like. No pomp, no poetry. Hunger and control.

This time when she pulled her lips away, her voice was coarse as she spoke.  “I want to fuck you, Kahlan. I want you to scream, and pant, and beg for more.”

“God yes.” She groaned.

“And I want more than that.” Cara said, and Kahlan looked up at her. Her eye widened with what Cara hoped was the realization. Slowly Kahlan nodded.

Cara kissed down her neck, nuzzling her face in the crook where her neck and chest met. Inhaling her scent deep into her lungs, Cara turned and lifted Kahlan’s leg over her hip and presses their centers together, brushing against her. She could feel how wet she was, as it dripped against Kahlan, and she pressed a little more, moaning as she felt the warm wet skin of Kahlan against her. She moved, pressing against her, feeling as their clits touched lightly once, and then again. Cara increased her movements, and felt Kahlan moving with her, as her eyes closed, and her lips part, “I am unfailingly honest, little Kahlan." Cara said with an evil grin. She blinked up at Cara. Cara had never seen her look so flushed, so aroused. Cara never thought she would have this pleasure. Of seeing her like this. As they rocked together, sliding against one another, breathing increasing, Cara arched her back and peered down at Kahlan.

The faint white glow from the bathroom was all that bathed her glorious body in shadow and light. Her heaving chest, the wet and hard nipples that seemed to beg as they tightened more for her attention. Cara ran her nails from Kahlan’s collarbone to her navel, pressing just hard enough to leave a trail of white that then turned red. Kahlan had arched up into her touch, and Cara could feel that her body was more than happy with her touch. Cara moved up her body, dragging her own naked breasts against her skin. Finding her neck Cara licked it and nibbled at it, before growling in her ear. "I want to mark you before I take you."

"Mark?" her voice was soft in the semi darkness.

"Yes, beautiful. Mark." Cara nipped at her throat, but not sharp enough to leave any lasting trace.

"I don't know."

"I will put it where no one will see it. No one but you and I." Cara sucked her earlobe into her mouth and then pressed down against her wet center with her own.


Cara knew she was eager and ready. Cara had been teasing her for too long. Slipping down her body, Cara placed herself between Kahlan’s spread legs, and gently blew against her damp curls, watching her stomach and legs flex as Cara did so. Knowing she wanted so much more. The need was there. And Cara wasn't about to let her feel it unjustly.

Grinning Cara kissed her stomach lightly, as her hands moved up her inner thighs, moved through her curls, before her two thumbs nestled on either side of her hardened and throbbing clit. Cara pressed the thumbs together, trapping her, applying enough pressure that she moaned quietly. Easing up Cara began the slow caressing of her length, using both thumbs, exploring lightly the texture and shape of her inner lips, her skin.

Cara groaned. "God you feel unbelievable. So soft. So wet."

Placing light kisses from her navel down to the top of her curls, Cara licked her skin, sucked her skin, kissed it, all while moving her fingers up and down, feeling the throb of Kahlan’s muscles, the wetness growing. She allowed herself a moment to rub her lips along the length of her, to soak them in the sweet arousal, before her tongue slipped between Kahlan’s swollen lips and curled to taste as much of her as possible. She felt herself vibrate with want at the taste of her come, at the tang and the pure decadence of the taste of Kahlan. She pressed against her clit once with her bottom lip, before moving away, knowing that if she kept that up Kahlan would come sooner than she wanted her to. Cara moved two of her fingers against her opening, caressing the lips, feeling them part slightly, feeling her body tremble with Cara at the entrance. Cara forced her mouth down against the perfect skin of her lower stomach, felt her teeth press against it, a fraction away from being hard enough to break the skin, skin that Cara sucked deeply into her mouth, as her two fingers slid inside of Kahlan. Cara felt Kahlan's lower body buck against her hungry mouth, but rode with her movements, sucking just a little deeper. Knowing it was bordering on pain, and to quell that Cara pumped in and out of her slowly, but steadily. Cara could feel her muscles clutching her, as her breathing, and sounds of her fingers moving in and out of her wetness began a symphony around them.

Cara released her flesh from her mouth, and blew lightly on her mark. It was darkening and angry, and would be with Kahlan for a few days after Cara was gone. Marks are like moments. They do not last forever. But they are worth the experience. It was as close to permanence as there could be, between them, on this night. Cara knew she wanted more, but part of her was aware that wanting did not equal having. Cara kissed the injured flesh, and then moved up Kahlan’s body, as her fingers began a firmer pulse, a deeper stroke.

"Feel okay?"

Kahlan nodded and bit her lip. Cara straddled her strong thigh, and pressed down against her, rocking now to the same strong rhythm they were both keeping. Cara watched her face. Her closed eyes, the tongue that rolled across her lips. She was beauty and torment. And soon she would be beauty, glory and peace. Cara moved her thumb to rub against Kahlan’s clit as her fingers worked inside of her tight center faster, moving quicker. Knowing that they were both close, rushing to the edge, the feelings inside were rolling like the waves and rolling like their hips, searching for that pleasure. Reaching for it.

"So close." Cara growled down to her.

Noise was more like loud breaths coming from her kiss swollen lips as her hips flared, her backside clenched, rising off the bed, Kahlan’s wetness coating her fingers and hand, as she came crashing around Cara. Her head thrown back, her mouth open and nostrils flaring.

"So beautiful." Cara told her, and meant it completely, as Cara slowed her fingers, getting slower, before stopping.

Kahlan opened her eyes, which were erratic and awash with colors Cara had never before seen. She sat up, taking her face in her hands and kissed Cara possessively. Surprisingly, Kahlan used her strength and added height and rolled them over so that she was laying mostly on top of Cara. The tongue in her mouth was laying claim to her with such precision that she could feel each stroke as if it was between her legs. She sighed into her mouth, and Kahlan took the control Cara was offering. Cara gave herself to her, knowing from the way she moved above Cara, the way she had looked at Cara, and the softness in her heart that she would not hurt Cara.

Kahlan pulled away, looking down at Cara with a serious gleam in her amazing eyes. She had felt it, Cara was sure of it. The handing over of her trust. Cara closed her eyes and Kahlan lowered her weight down onto her body, her delicious warm and comforting weight, followed by her lips. Her kissed turned into a scalding passionate exchange, a claim. Cara lost herself in Kahlan, giving up thinking for a moment to just feel. She cried out as she felt Kahlan enter her. Slowly, hesitantly, but she was there, accepting, and understanding. Cara looked at her eyes again, felt herself matching her breath for breath as she increased the speed of her thrusts, as Cara tightened around her fingers. Cara could feel herself being transported away, floating from the pain and the fear, into the warm safe place of a trusted embrace. The peace rolled over Cara, and she could see Kahlan's eyes filling with a thin sheen of tears. Then Cara felt her own rolling down the sides of her face.

Cara gasped, feeling Kahlan slid in a third finger, and with the feeling of being completely filled came the slow but growing tension of release that was on the horizon. Cara arched her neck up, to kiss Kahlan’s lips firmly, as she spread her legs and wrapped them around the brunette’s lower body, opening to her completely. They both gasped together at the deeper angle she could reach, and then Kahlan pressed her head to her shoulder.

“Oh god you are tight. Am I?” Kahlan panted softly.

“Yes, fuck yes. So right. So perfectly right.” Cara admitted.  When Cara felt it her whole body arched, and she lifted them both slightly off the now rocking bed. What Cara felt were Kahlan’s teeth, her tongue, her lips, all moving together to mark her shoulder as Cara hit the edge of reality. As the pain and the pleasure mingled, as Kahlan took what Cara had offered her, Cara died. A glorious and momentary death. There was nothing but red and white pleasure. Nothing but glory. Nothing but trust.

She watched her eyes as they blinked rapidly, and then widen as they realized that Kahlan was on her side next to Cara, breathing heavily.

"Sorry." Cara said hoarsely, propping myself up on her elbows.

"I would say that having you pass out on me, during this? My first time with a woman? Totally a complement."

"Mm hm." Cara leaned over and bit her breast gently.


"Oh hush." Cara looked at the dark ceiling, closing her eyes and inhaling the scent of the room. The scent of them.



"What happens now?" She asked.

"What we need to happen." Cara turned to look at her. "I think they both know that."

She fell onto her back, her hands resting above the mark Cara had left on her belly. She blew out a rush of air. "What we need.” She agreed.


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