1x3 - The Witch
The Witch
Written by:
Dana Reston
Directed by:
Stephen Cragg
Transcribed by:
AleXander Thompson
Copyright © 1997 Alexander Thompson
~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~
In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone
will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is
the Slayer.
Giles: (upset)
This is madness! What can you have been thinking? You are the Slayer! Lives
depend upon you! (begins pacing) I make allowances for your youth, but I expect
a certain amount of responsibility, and instead of which you enslave yourself
to this, this... (stops pacing) Cult?
Buffy: (wearing
a cheerleader outfit) You don't like the color?
Giles: I d...
(exasperated) Do you, um... (puts some books on a cart) Do you ignore
everything I say as a, as a rule?
Buffy: No, I
believe that's your trick.
Giles pushes the cart to the counter. Buffy skips in
front of him and poses.
Buffy: I told
you, I'm trying out for the cheerleading squad!
Giles: You have
a sacred birthright, Buffy. You were chosen to destroy vampires, not to... wave
pompoms at people. And as the Watcher I forbid it. (goes back to the table)
Buffy: And
you'll be stopping me how?
Giles: Well,
I... (sits on the edge of the table and crosses his arms) By appealing to your
common sense, if such a creature exists.
Buffy: I will
still have time to fight the forces of evil, okay? I just wanna have a life, I
wanna do something normal. Something safe.
Cut to the witch's attic. The camera moves through the
dark space. There are flowers and herbs hanging upside down from the rafters to
dry and personal items with identification tags. The witch moves around in the
darkness. The camera follows her to the cauldron. She waves a pendant on a
chain over the brew, then pulls it back. She goes over to a rack and yanks off
a doll hanging there by its neck on a wire.
Cut to the gym. Cheerleader tryouts are about to
start. Girls are stretching and practicing, doing back handsprings, cartwheels
and walking handstands. One girl does a roundoff followed by a back handspring.
Buffy,
Buffy: He
totally lost his water. We haven't seen a vampire in over a week. I'd say he
should get a girlfriend if he wasn't so old.
Xander: People
scoff at things like school spirit, but look at these girls giving their all
like this!
He notices Amber doing the splits between two chairs.
Xander: Ooo,
stretchy! Where was I?
Xander: Who
said I was pretending? (to Buffy) Oh, hey! Here's a good luck thing for
tryouts. (hands her a bracelet)
Buffy: What's
this?
Buffy: Oh, how
sweet! (reads the inscription) 'Yours Always.'
Xander: I-i-it
came that way, really, they all said that!
Cordelia:
(approaches them) Just look at that Amber. Who does she think
she is, a Laker Girl?
Joy, the cheerleading squad leader, steps up with her
clipboard and calls for everyone's attention.
Joy: Okay,
listen up! Let's begin with (checks her clipboard) Amber Grove. If you're not
auditioning, move off the floor.
Amy: (comes
over) Hi!
Amy: Had to.
Amy: Hi.
Buffy: Hi.
Amy: Oh, how I
hate this, let me count the ways.
Amber begins her routine. It's very athletic. She
starts off with a needle-split lift followed by a double spin and a jumping
double spin. After landing, Amber launches herself into an aerial and a
cartwheel. Jazz slides are then followed by a single spin. Everyone in the gym
is intent on watching her.
Amy: (to Buffy)
She trained with Benson. He's one of the best coaches money can buy.
Buffy: They
have cheerleading coaches?
Amy: Oh, yeah!
Don't you have? I train with my mom, three hours in the morning, three at
night.
Buffy: Hmm,
that much quality time with my mom would probably lead to some quality
matricide.
Amy: Oh, I know
it's hokey. But she's really great.
Cordelia turns her back to Amber with a look of
contempt on her face.
Cordelia: Hmm!
Buffy and Xander watch Amber in amazement. Amy and
Buffy: What
the...?
Cordelia:
(facing away, not seeing the smoke) Enough of the hyperbole!
Amber's hands catch fire. She drops her pompoms and
screams. Buffy reacts. Amber flails her hands in the air. Buffy jumps up onto
the stands and pulls down a banner. She runs back to Amber, knocks her down and
snuffs out the flames with the banner. Everyone stares in shock.
Buffy: (trying
to comfort Amber) It's okay, it's okay, you're gonna be... okay. (to herself)
God!
Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays.
~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~
The library. Buffy is pacing.
Buffy: I've
been slaying vampires for more than a year now, and I have seen some pretty
cringeworthy things, but... nobody's hands ever got toasted before.
Giles: (comes
out of the cage) I imagine not.
Buffy: So, this
isn't a vampire problem.
Giles: No.
Buffy: (turns
to Giles) But it is funky, right? Not of the norm?
Giles: Quite.
Spontaneous human combustion is, is rare, and, and scientifically
unexplainable, but there have been cases for hundreds of years. Usually all
that's left is a pile of ashes.
Xander: So, we
have no idea what caused this. That's a comfort.
Giles: But
that's the thrill of living on the Hellmouth! (sits on the edge of the table)
There's a veritable cornucopia of, of fiends and devils and, and ghouls to
engage. (everyone looks at him) Pardon me for finding the glass half full.
Buffy: Any
common denominators in cases of spontaneous combustion?
Giles: Uh,
rage. In most cases the person who combusted was, was terribly angry or, or
upset.
Xander: So
maybe Amber's got this power to make herself be on fire. It's like the human
torch, only it hurts.
Buffy: I need
to get the skinny on Amber. Find out if she's had any colorful episodes before.
(starts to go)
She and Xander get up and go over to Buffy.
Xander: I'll
ask around about her.
Buffy: You guys
don't have to get involved.
Xander: What
d'ya mean? We're a team! Aren't we a team?
Buffy: I just
don't like putting you guys in danger.
Xander: Oh,
huh, I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.
Buffy: Okay,
just walk softly, at least until we know a little more. I mean, what if Amber
isn't causing these problems herself?
Giles: Well,
then we have to determine who or what did, and, uh, deal with it accordingly.
Cut to the kitchen at the Summers house. There are
several wooden boxes and crates. Joyce is trying to pry one open with a
crowbar. Buffy comes in.
Buffy: Hey!
Joyce: Hi, how
was school?
Buffy: Mm, a
reverent joy. What's all this?
Joyce: It's for
the tribal art display.
Buffy: Cool!
(examines a piece) We had tryouts today.
Joyce: Oh,
great! How'd it go? (exhales)
Buffy: I didn't
actually get to try out. There was an accident. Pretty fierce competition,
though.
Joyce: Oh, I
know you'll do fine. Keep on pluggin', just have to get back on the horse.
Buffy: Mom?
Joyce: Yeah?
Buffy: What was
I trying out for?
Joyce: Oh,
uh... (stops prying at the crate and looks at Buffy) Some activity? I have no
idea, I'm sorry.
Buffy: That's
okay. Your platitudes are good for all occasions.
Joyce:
(exhales) I'm distracted. (starts prying again and exhales) Got a lotta
inventory to go through here. (exhales) This is my Gallery's first major show.
(exhales and gives up) You know, it might not physically kill you to give me a
hand here. (goes to check her clipboard)
Buffy grabs the lid of the crate and effortlessly
tears it off.
Buffy: It was
cheerleading.
Joyce: Oh good!
I'm glad you're taking that up again, it'll keep you out of trouble.
Buffy: I'm not
*in* trouble.
Joyce: No, not
yet.
Buffy is hurt. Her mother looks up from her clipboard
and notices.
Joyce: I mean,
you stopped cheerleading just before the trouble, so it's good you're going
back.
She goes back to the crate and partially lifts out a
statue.
Joyce: Oh,
dear.
Buffy: What?
Joyce: The
fertility statue, you don't need to see it.
She replaces the crate's lid and goes back to her
clipboard.
Buffy: Y'know,
there's this girl, Amy, and, um, she trains with her mom, like, three hours a
day.
Joyce: Uh-huh.
Buffy: Sounds
like her mom's pretty into it.
Joyce: Sounds
like her mom doesn't have a lot to do.
She walks out of the kitchen with a piece of art.
Buffy lifts the crate's lid a little bit and looks in.
Buffy: Jeepers!
Cut to the gym the next day. Tryouts have resumed.
Joy: (pacing)
Despite the terrible thing that happened yesterday we still have to pick new
cheerleaders. If you make the team you'll find your names posted in the quad
after lunch. Let's begin with group performance.
Amy: (to Buffy)
Why do my hands have to sweat when I get nervous?
Buffy: (to Amy)
Don't worry. You'll do great.
Joy: (loudly)
Five, six, seven, eight!
All: Sunnydale!
Sunnydale! We never fail! We never fail! Jump and Shoot! Swish and score! The
other team is such a bore! Yeah!
Amy blows the cartwheel and crashes into Cordelia.
Cordelia yelps as she falls and then quickly gets up.
Cordelia: You
saw that, right? That wasn't me! You saw that, right? (looks at Amy and back
again) Right?
Cut to the halls. Amy is admiring the trophies in the
case with a longing look. Buffy comes up next to her. Amy notices her, smiles
and points to a picture in the case.
Amy: That's my
mom!
Buffy: No!
(reads the inscription) Catherine Madison. Get down with your bad self!
Amy: Her
nickname was 'Catherine the Great'. She took that team and made them tri-county
champions. Y'know, no one's ever done that before, or since. She and my dad
were Homecoming King and Queen. They got married right after graduation.
Buffy: That's
kinda romantic.
Amy: Well, he
was a big loser. Never made any money. Ran off with Miss Trailer Trash when I
was twelve.
Buffy: Okay,
that part's less romantic. My folks split up, too.
Amy: Drag, huh?
Uh, he left my mom with nothing. She put herself through cosmetology school.
(smiles) Bought me everything I ever wanted. (shakes her head) And never once
gained a single pound.
Buffy: (walks
around to face Amy) Uh, she sounds really great, Amy, but, um... it doesn't
mean that you need to lock step as far as this cheerleading thing.
Amy: She was
the best! And I can't get my body to *move* like hers! I choked in there so
bad!
Buffy: No, Amy,
you did fine.
Amy: (dejected)
I'm gonna get changed.
Buffy: Wait!
No...
Buffy: No,
she's, she's wiggin' about her mom, big cheer queen back when.
Buffy: ...Nazi
like?
Buffy: So,
mommy dearest is really... Mommy Dearest?
They start down the hall.
Buffy: Hey, any
word on Amber?
Buffy: Hmm.
Buffy: So we
just have to wait and we'll see what happens. Maybe nothing will.
Cut to the girls' locker room. The camera shows the
showers dripping. Cut to a row of lockers. The camera follows them around a
corner to Amy alone at her locker. She hears a noise and turns to look.
Nothing. The showers keep dripping. Amy closes her locker and starts to go, but
is surprised by Cordelia.
Cordelia: I
have a dream. It's me on the cheerleading squad, adored by every varsity male
as far as the eye can see! We have to achieve our dreams, Amy. Otherwise we...
wither and die!
Amy: Look, I'm
sorry about...
Cordelia: (cuts
Amy off) Shhh! If your supreme klutziness out there today takes me out of the
running, you're gonna be so *very* beyond sorry! (smiles) Have a nice day.
Cordelia turns and leaves. She throws her scrunchie
into an open locker and slams the door as she rounds the corner, but it doesn't
stay shut. Amy leans against her locker, apparently shaken.
Cut outside.
Xander: Cool!
Was she wearin' it? The bracelet, she was wearin' it, right? Pretty much like
we're goin' out.
Xander: So I'm
just a figure of fun. (exhales) I should ask her out,
right?
Xander: That's
why you're so cool! You're like a guy! You're my guy friend that knows about
girl stuff!
Xander: Oh,
hey, they're posting the list!
He runs off to check the list of names for the
cheerleading squad. Cut to the crowd in front of the bulletin board. Buffy and
Amy are at the back. A girl rushes away in tears because her name is not on the
list.
Amy: I can't
take this.
Joy steps away from posting the list on the bulletin
board. Lishanne sees her name on the list.
Lishanne: Yes!
Xander comes up behind Buffy and Amy.
Xander: Cover
me, I'm goin' in.
He pushes his way through the crowd and looks at the
list. Cordelia comes out of the crowd.
Cordelia: (to
Amy) You're lucky!
Amy: I made it?
Cordelia: *I*
made it!
Xander comes back out of the crowd and gets hit on the
way.
Xander: One of
those girls hit me really hard! You should test for steroids. Okay, not only
did you make the team, but you, Miss Summers, are the first alternate, and
Amy's number three.
Amy looks at Buffy, badly disappointed, and leaves.
Xander: And
what a better way to celebrate than with a romantic drive through...
Buffy: Excuse
me. (goes to console Amy)
Xander:
(downtroden) For I am Xander, King of Cretins. May all lesser cretins
bow before me.
Buffy: (catches
up with Amy) At least it's over. And you know what I think we should do about
it? Brownie pig-out, my house, after school.
Amy: It's just
how many more hours a day can I practice? Y'know, how much more can I do? This
would never happen to my mother. Never.
She walks off. Buffy stares after her.
Cut to Amy's house. The camera closes in on the
brickwork outside of the attic. Cut inside the attic. The camera pans from the
wall across a bunch of tagged personal items that she's taken from people. Cut
to the cauldron. Amy stirs the pot.
Amy: Give me
the power. Give me the dark.
She goes to get another doll from her rack.
Amy: I call on
you, the laughing gods.
She yanks one of the dolls off of the rack.
Amy: Let your
blackness crawl beneath my skin.
She wraps Cordelia's scrunchie around the doll's head.
Amy: Accept thy
sacrifice... of Cordelia. Feed on her.
She drops the doll into the brew.
~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~
The Summers kitchen. The toaster pops up, and Buffy
pulls out a freshly toasted half of a bagel. She takes it to the island in the
middle of the kitchen for more preparation. Her mother comes in.
Joyce: Look
what I found. It's my yearbook from junior year. (finds herself) Oh, look! There
I am.
She puts the book down on the island and goes to get a
cup of coffee. Buffy looks at the picture.
Buffy: Mom,
I've accepted that you've had sex. I am not ready to know that you had Farrah
hair.
Joyce: This is
Gidget hair. Don't they teach you anything in history?
Buffy: Well,
it's really cool, but I gotta book.
Joyce: Well, I
was thinking. I know the cheerleading thing didn't work out... Maybe you should
think about joining the yearbook staff. I did, it was a lot of fun.
Buffy: Not
really my tip, mom. (opens the refrigerator)
Joyce: I was,
uh, photo editor. I got to be on every page, made me look much more popular
than I was.
Buffy: And have
you seen the kids that do yearbook? Nerds pick on them. (walks to her bag)
Joyce:
(insulted) Some of the best times I had in school were working on the
yearbook!
Buffy: (faces
her mom) Oh, this just in: I'm not you! I'm into my own thing.
Joyce: Your own
thing, whatever it is, got you kicked out of school, and we had to move here to
find a decent school that would take you!
Buffy is hurt. She takes her bag and starts to go.
Joyce: Honey,
uhhh... (Buffy leaves) (disgusted with herself) Uhhh! Great parenting form!
Little shaky on the dismount.
Cut to the hall at school. Cordelia walks past
Xander:
Cordelia, you haven't been mean to me all day. Is it something I've
done? (to
Xander: This is
the invisible man syndrome. A blessing in Cordelia's case. A curse in Buffy's.
She chews on her pen some more as they start to walk
down the hall.
Xander: It's
worse! I'm just like a part of the scenery, like an old shoe. Or a rug that you
walk on every day but don't even really see it.
Xander: Will,
yeah, that is the point, you don't have to drive it through my head like a
railroad spike. I'm gonna take your advice and not beat around the bush.
more.
Xander: Nah, I
gotta be a man and ask her out. Y'know, I gotta stop giving her ID bracelets,
uh, subtle innuendoes, taking Polaroids outside of her bedroom window late at
night, that last part is a joke to relieve
the tension because here she comes.
Buffy comes out of a classroom and walks toward them.
Xander: Okay,
into battle I go. (quickly turns to
He grabs her by the shoulders, startling her. Buffy
sees Cordelia trying to work the combination on a locker. Xander pulls himself
together.
Xander: No.
Buffy: (reaches
They see Cordelia give up and continue down the hall.
Xander: Huh?
Oh, I don't know. What I'm saying is accompany me Friday night...
Buffy:
(watching Cordelia go and cutting him off) Xander, I have to, um...
(faces him) We can make this up later. You don't mind, do you?
She gives him her book and follows Cordelia. Xander
whistles the sound of a bomb falling and exploding.
Cut outside. Buffy comes out of the hall and looks
around for Cordelia. She sees her and starts to follow. Cut to Mr. Pole, the
Driver's Ed. Teacher. He's waiting impatiently for Cordelia. He turns and sees
her
coming.
Mr. Pole: Nice
of you to join us, Cordelia. We didn't keep you waiting or anything, did we?
It's your turn to drive. (to the others) Okay, people, let's buckle up.
Cordelia: (goes
around the front of the car) I don't wanna drive today, Mr. Pole.
Mr. Pole:
You've flunked Driver's Ed. twice already. Show me some moves, or you'll
be taking the bus to college.
He gets into the car. Cordelia gets in last. Buffy
watches from behind a school bus.
Mr. Pole: Okay.
Check the brake. Check the mirror. Start the engine.
Cordelia turns the key and the engine starts, but she
seems out of it.
Mr. Pole:
Hello? Put the car in drive.
Cordelia struggles with the shifting lever.
Mr. Pole: Let's
move forward through the cones with a gentle even turn to the...
The car takes off backward, crashes into some signs
and stops. Cordelia gets it in drive, and the car races forward, burning
rubber.
Mr. Pole: Slow
down. Slow, slow, turn right! Turn right!
Cordelia loses control as the car races along the
course, knocking down cones and signs. Buffy begins running after them.
Mr. Pole:
Brakes! Brakes!
The car crashes through a fence and bushes and careens
out onto the street, where it comes to a sudden halt. Another car just manages
to swerve around them.
Mr. Pole:
Everybody out!
They all get out. Cordelia is in a daze, and she walks
into the middle of the street. A delivery van is coming the other way, but it
doesn't slow down. Buffy comes running. Cordelia turns to see the van coming
and screams. Buffy leaps over the Driver's Ed. car and grabs Cordelia, pulling
her down and out of the way. The van takes out the open car door as Buffy and
Cordelia roll to a stop.
Cordelia: Oh,
my God, I, I can't see anything!
Buffy: It's,
it's okay, it's... (sees Cordelia's eyes) Oh God!
Cordelia:
What's happening? I can't see anything!
Her eyes no longer have irises and are completely
white.
Cut to the library. The team is sitting at the table.
Giles:
Witchcraft. Blinding your enemy to disorient and disable them is, it's
classic!
Xander: First
vampires, now witches. No wonder you can still afford a house in Sunnydale.
Giles: Why
should someone want to harm Cordelia?
Giles: And
setting Amber ablaze?
Xander: Yeah,
those guys don't hang...
Buffy: They're
both cheerleaders.
Giles: Someone
doesn't like cheerleading.
Buffy: Or likes
it too much.
Buffy: Amy!
Xander: So, you
guys are leaning towards Amy?
Buffy: She's
desperate to get on that team, and I've got this feeling she'd do just about
anything to make her mom's dream come true.
Giles: Uh, let
me make sure I have this right. This witch is casting horrible and disfiguring
spells so that she can become a cheerleader?
Buffy: I think
you're underestimating the amount of pressure a parent can lay on you. If
you're not a picture perfect carbon copy they tend to
wig.
Xander: Look,
we still have to stop Amy. We should grab her and...
Giles:
(interrupts) I think we should be sure she's the witch before we arouse
her suspicions. She's, she's capable of some fairly unpleasant things.
Buffy: Okay,
alright, (gets up) so, you're in high school, you are desperate to make the
team and please your mom, so you turn to witchcraft. What's the first thing
you're gonna do?
She and Buffy go over to the computer to access the
on-line library card catalog.
Xander: Uh, no!
No, that would be the *last* thing you would do! You don't wanna leave a paper
trail. Forget that!
Xander gets up and stands behind them.
Xander: We
don't have a minute! Cheerleaders are in danger. Buffy's in danger. (to Buffy) You
were the first alternate, you are on the team now that Cordelia's out. You
could be next. We gotta get you to a safe house.
Xander: Yeah.
Buffy: (reads
also) 'The Pagan Rites', checked out by Alexander...
Xander:
Alright, alright, it's not what you think.
Xander: Oh,
well, uh, I-I guess it *is* what you think.
Giles: Have you
all quite finished? We have to find a conclusive test. There may be something
in here... (pages through a book) Yes, this should do it. You'll need some of
her hair, a little quicksilver and some aqua fortis.
Giles: (reads)
'Heat ingredients and apply to witch, and if a spell has been cast in the
previous 48 hours, witch's skin turns blue.' Hmm. (shuts the book) Oh, and
you'll need some Eye of Newt.
Cut to science class. The camera shows Dr. Gregory
holding a frog as reflected in a mirror propped up on a stick above him. It
pans down to show him holding the frog up for the class to see.
Dr. Gregory:
Those of you in track one may begin your dissections... now.
He indicates where the students should cut their
frogs. Cut to Xander trying to take his frog's eye out with tweezers.
Dr. Gregory:
Those of you in track two (cut to him) take your hydrochloric acid and
your ammonium hydroxide and carefully pour them into your beakers.
He begins to pour. Cut to Xander still struggling with
the frog's eye.
Dr. Gregory:
Now slow, slow...
Xander: I
can't.
Dr. Gregory:
...capping one, I'm being safe. And you get...
Cut to Dr. Gregory. The ingredients in the beaker
react and begin to bubble and smoke.
Dr. Gregory:
...that.
Cut to Xander.
Xander: How's
Buffy doing with the hair?
They look toward Buffy. Cut to Lishanne at another lab
table.
Lishanne: (to
Buffy) Isn't this exciting!
Buffy: Oh,
yeah! (to Amy) Amy, help me. Um, which is the hydrochloric acid and which is
the, uh, ammonium hydroxide?
Amy: Well, the
bottle that says 'hydrochloric acid' is usually the hydrochloric acid.
Buffy: Read the
bottles. Good concept! (laughs nervously and drops her pencil) Oops.
She crouches down to pick up the pencil. She reaches
into Amy's bag and pulls some hair off of her brush. She gets up and tries to
pretend nothing happened. She glances at Amy to gauge her reaction. Amy smiles
back weakly. She noticed but pretends she didn't.
Buffy waves her pencil and smiles back. She heads back to her lab table with an
expression of relief at having avoided a close call. She puts the hair on
bench as she walks by.
Xander: (in a low
voice) Wave 'Hi' to the nice little witch!
Amy overhears and gives them another quick look.
Buffy: Spill it
on her. Try 'n' make it look natural.
Xander: We're
right behind you, only... further back.
Buffy slowly makes her way over to Amy.
Dr. Gregory:
Lishanne, can you tell me why these chemicals have this reaction?
Buffy pours some of the mixture onto Amy's arm and
feigns an accident, drawing in her breath. She sees the liquid turn blue on
contact.
Dr. Gregory:
Lishanne?
Amy apparently didn't notice the spill. She's looking
over at Lishanne.
Dr. Gregory:
Are you... Oh, my God!
Buffy looks over at Lishanne now, too, and sees her
shaking her head
violently. She turns to the camera, and everyone sees
that she no longer has a mouth. Buffy stares in amazement. She looks back at
Amy, who looks amazed, too.
Cut to the halls. Buffy,
Xander: Did you
see? Amy was as freaked out as the rest of us.
Buffy: The test
was positive! She's our Sabrina. I just don't think she realizes what she's
doing.
Buffy: Maybe we
should talk to her mother. I wonder if *she* knows what she's created.
Cut to Amy's house. She walks through the gate with
determination. The gate has a gargoyle face on it. Cut inside the house. She
comes in and looks around for her mother.
Amy: Where are
you?
Cut to Catherine. She quickly turns off the TV and
gets up. Amy sees her.
Amy: Another
productive day in front of the TV?
Catherine just looks back.
Amy: I got a history
report due tomorrow. (drops her bag) Write it!
Catherine can only keep looking and exhales.
Amy:
(considers) I should be on that team by now. But instead Miss *Buffy*
and friends are sneaking around stealing bits of my hair.
Catherine shakes her head. Amy opens her hand, and out
drops Buffy's bracelet.
Amy: I'll be
upstairs.
Catherine watches her go.
~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning in Buffy's room. It's a bit of a
mess. The camera pans through it and stops on Buffy still sleeping. The alarm
clock goes off. She slaps it with her hand hard enough to smash it with her
strength.
Buffy: Oh!
Oops! Oh... (sits up) Mm...
Cut to the kitchen. Joyce is making fresh-squeezed
orange juice. Buffy comes dancing in singing and wearing her cheerleader
outfit.
Buffy: Macho,
macho, man! I want to be a macho man. Macho... Oh, hey, juice! (grabs the glass
and drinks) Mm... Quality juice. Not from concentrate!
Joyce: (glances
at Buffy) You're in a good mood.
Buffy: I am!
I'm on the squad, which is great, 'cause I feel like cheering and leading
others to cheer. Ooo, hey, juice!
Buffy takes the second glass and drinks again.
Joyce: Listen,
honey, about yesterday, I really...
Buffy: Mm! That
is totally yester. Besides, it's not like you were wrong, y'know. I did get
kicked outta school. I'm just wacky that way!
Joyce: Still, I
just want you to know that, despite the problems you've had, I really...
Buffy: (cuts
her off) Mom, you just don't get it. And, believe me, you don't want it.
Y'know, there are just some things about being a Vampire Slayer that the older
generation...
Joyce: A what?
Buffy: It's
a... long story.
Joyce: Buffy,
are you feeling well?
Buffy: What?
Oh, I'm, I'm fine, y'know? What, like, I can't be in a good mood? Is it, like,
a new house rule? Fine, y'know? It's just fine, fine, fine, 'cause... (sings)
I'm a macho, macho man! I want to be a macho man! (bobs her head) Macho, macho
man! (leaves the kitchen) I want to be a macho man!
Cut to the gym for cheerleading practice. Buffy is
positioned next to Joy in the lineup.
Joy: (loudly)
Five, six, seven, eight!
The cheerleaders begin practicing a routine.
Buffy: Turn up
the music!
The routine continues until Buffy accidentally stomps
on Joy's foot.
Joy: (yells)
Ow! Get it together Buffy! We have a game in less than four hours!
Xander and
Buffy: (jumping
gleefully) Willow! Xander! My buds are here! I love my buds! Hi! (notices
everyone staring) Hi... Oh...
She gets back in line, and the routine continues.
Xander: (to
Willow) Is it me, or is Buffy a bit looped?
Xander: Yeah,
before she...
Buffy overthrows Joy's aerial, sending her crashing
into the gym wall.
Xander:
...hurts someone. Ay...
Joy gets up as Buffy comes running over.
Buffy: Did I do
that?
Joy: (pushes
Buffy) You are *so* out of here!
Xander: She's
on medication.
Buffy: (to
Xander) What?
Joy: Well,
obviously not enough. Who's our next alternate? (sees Amy behind her) Oh. Amy,
you just made cheerleader.
Buffy: No, no,
no. You don't want her, she's a wi...
Xander quickly puts his hand over Buffy's mouth.
Xander: A wise
choice indeed!
He and
Cut to the hall outside the gym.
Buffy: She's a
witchy!
Buffy: I just
got kicked off the team, didn't I?
Xander: I don't
think it was your fault.
Buffy: Hmm, I
know you don't, that's 'cause you're my friend. You're my Xander-shaped friend!
(leans her head on his shoulder) Do you have any idea why I love you so,
Xander?
Xander: (stops
Buffy: I'll
tell you! You're not like other boys at all.
Xander: Well...
Buffy: You are
totally, and completely one of the girls! (to
Xander: That's
great.
Buffy: Any
other guy who'd give me a bracelet, they'd... wanna date me, and be like a...
She begins to feel woozy.
Buffy: Oh! I, I
don't feel so good.
Buffy collapses into their arms.
Cut to the library. Buffy is lying back in a chair
with a wet cloth on her forehead.
Giles: They
can't help her. This is a bloodstone vengeance spell. (takes her pulse) Hits
the body hard like a, a quart of alcohol, and then it e-eradicates the, uh,
immune system.
Xander: A
vengeance spell, like she's trying to get even with Buffy?
Buffy: 'Cause
she knows I know she's a witch.
Giles: The
others she just wanted out of the running. You she intends to, um...
Buffy: Kill?
Giles: Oh, uh,
I'm sure, uh...
Buffy: Truth.
Please.
Giles: Couple
of hours... Three at most.
Xander: Well,
how do we reverse the spell?
Giles: (gets
up) Well I, I've been researching that, and, uh, we can reverse all the spells
if, um... (takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes) ...we can just lay our
hands on, on Amy's spell book.
Giles: Well,
the other way is to cut the witch's head off. (puts his glasses back on)
Xander: Show of
hands! (raises his hand)
Buffy: It's not
Amy's fault. She only became a witch to survive her mother.
Xander: (to
Buffy) Look, I don't care why, I just care that you go on breathing.
Buffy: Giles,
where would she be casting these spells?
Giles: Oh, she
needs a, a sacred space. A-a-a pentagram, um, large pot.
Buffy: Her
home. Okay. Help me up.
Xander and
Buffy: We'll
just go to her house and we'll get her book.
Buffy: Uh, no!
You guys stay here and keep an eye on Amy.
Giles: (takes
Buffy from them) And keep her away from the science lab. We'll need it to cast
our counter-spells.
He and Buffy go.
Cut to Giles' old car pulling up to Amy's house. Cut
inside. Catherine has a plate of brownies on her lap and takes a bite out of
one. Giles knocks on the door. She looks up, startled. Giles knocks some more. Buffy
looks very tired and out of it. Catherine slides the plate under the coffee
table and gets up. Giles knocks again. Catherine opens the door.
Catherine: Who
are you? Wha, um, uh, is there something wrong?
Giles: Mrs.
Madison, we need to talk to you about your daughter.
Catherine: I'm
not allow... You'll have to come back later.
She tries to close the door, but Giles prevents her
and pushes his way in.
Giles: Excuse
me!
Catherine:
What?!
Giles: (turns
to help Buffy) You alright? (looks for a place to sit her down) Um, in here.
(leads Buffy into the living room) (to Catherine) Your daughter is meddling
with something very dangerous, are you aware of that? (sits Buffy on the couch)
Catherine: Uh,
I don't know what you're talking about.
Giles: Oh, I
think you know only too well.
Catherine:
You've got to go. She's gonna be home soon, and you...
Giles:
(interrupts, indicating Buffy) This girl is very sick. (very
angrily) Now you will shut up and you will listen to
me! Your daughter
has access to some very powerful magicks, and somehow
your obsession
with cheerleading has made...
Catherine:
(interrupts, incredulous) I don't care about cheerleading!
It's not my fault she's doing stuff.
Buffy sees the brownies and begins to realize who
Catherine really is.
Giles: As her
mother you should assume some responsibility for her
actions.
Catherine:
(laughs) Well, you know, these kids today! I... (calms down
a bit) She's out of her mind. Ever since dad, her
dad... left I can't
control her.
Buffy slowly gets up.
Giles: You're
afraid of her?
Buffy: Amy?
Catherine looks at Buffy and realizes she's been found
out. Giles looks
at Buffy, still puzzled.
Buffy: Are you
Amy?
Giles: (looks
back at Catherine) I don't understand.
Buffy: She
switched! She switched your bodies, didn't she?
Catherine looks down, defeated.
Giles: (the
truth dawns on him) Good Lord!
Buffy: She
wanted to relive her glory days.
Catherine:
(looks back up) She said I was wasting my youth. So she took
it.
~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~
The living room at Amy's house. The camera pans to
them sitting on the
couch.
Catherine:
(distraught) I didn't know anything about her powers. I
mean, when dad was here they would fight and yell and
he would... call
her a witch and... I mean, I would, just thought he
meant... Oh, God,
when he left I wanted to go with him. But she wouldn't
even let me call.
She went crazy, I mean, she'd lock herself upstairs
for days, and she
was always coming down on me, telling me I didn't
deserve to have it so
easy, and that I didn't know... how hard it was to be
her, and... I
guess she showed me, huh?
Buffy: (takes
her hand) Amy, it's gonna be okay.
Catherine: A
few months ago, I woke up in h... her bed! I didn't know
where I was, and... then I looked in the mirror...
Giles: She
locked herself upstairs?
Catherine: Yes.
Giles: Where?
Cut to the attic. Giles breaks in the door, comes in
and starts to look
around. Catherine comes in after him.
Catherine:
(tries to stop him) Don't! If she finds out I've been here
she'll kill me!
Giles walks around the cauldron to the rack with the
hanging dolls. He
sees the two dolls bound together for the
body-switching spell and takes
them in his hand.
Giles: My God!
(exhales) I believe we can reverse your mother's spell.
Well, all of them, in fact. (lets go of the dolls)
Catherine: You
could? Really, you could?
Giles: We need
to find her books. There'd be specific volumes she'd
need for this kind of casting.
He begins to look around some more. He finds a trunk
and knocks off the
things on top.
Giles: Collect
those dolls, and, uh, any other personal effects...
As he starts to open the trunk, a black cat jumps at
him and surprises
him.
Giles: Ah! Nice
kitty... (calms down) Let's see what you were guarding.
(opens the trunk) Ah, yes! (takes out a book) This is
it.
Cut to Giles and Catherine coming back down the stairs
and going into
the living room.
Buffy: Did we
find?
Giles: We
found. Come on.
He helps Buffy up from the couch. She's gotten weaker.
Catherine: But
where are you going?
Giles: We're
going to school.
He realizes Buffy is too weak to walk and picks her up
in his arms.
Giles: And
you're coming with us.
Cut to the gym. The Sunnydale High basketball team
comes through the
doors and runs onto the court. The camera pans across
the court, then
back and across the cheerleaders, stopping on Amy.
Amy's clearly very
happy to be there. Cut to Xander and
Cut to the science classroom. Giles carries Buffy in
and lays her down
on a lab table, knocking everything off of it in the
process. He takes
off his coat.
Giles: (to
Buffy) I'm gonna stop this. I promise.
Buffy looks up at him. He folds his coat and puts it
under her head as a
pillow. Her vision is blurred.
Giles: You just
hang on.
Buffy moans. Giles goes to the box of books and other
things Catherine
has set on Dr. Gregory's bench and reaches in to get
Amy's spell book.
Catherine:
(concerned) How is she?
Giles: We only
have a few minutes left.
Cut to the gym and the cheerleaders.
Cheerleaders:
Go, Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go! Six, seven,
eight! Go Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go,
Sunnydale go! Go! Six,
seven, eight! Go Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go! Go,
Sunnydale go! Go!
Six, seven, eight! Go Sunnydale go! Go, Sunnydale go!
Go, Sunnydale go!
Go! (yells from the cheerleaders)
The camera focuses on Amy in slow motion. Cut to a
slow pan across the
crowd. Cut to Amy with a smile on her face.
Cut to the science classroom. Catherine is cutting an
eye from a frog,
and is squeamish about it.
Giles: Right!
Here we go!
Cut to Buffy. She's getting weaker. Cut back to Giles.
He recites as he
mixes a potion.
Giles: The
center is dark. Centrum est obscurus. The darkness breathes.
Tenebrae respiratis. The listener hears. Hear me!
Cut to the gym. The cheerleaders are doing a counting
chant. The camera
focuses on Amy. She stops chanting and looks startled.
Her vision
flashes to what Catherine sees in the science lab, the
book and the
frog. She's back in the gym and takes up the count
again, but has a
worried look on her face. Cut back to the lab.
Catherine: Oh,
it's... it's working!
Giles takes the book up from the table and reads.
Giles: Unlock
the gate. Let the darkness shine. Cover us with holy
fear.
Catherine staggers back and covers her face.
Giles: Show
me...
The lights go out in the classroom.
Cut to the gym. Some of the cheerleaders are lifting
Amy. Once up, she
thrusts her fists into the air and gives the crowd a
big smile. Her
smile fades as she has another flash to the lab, where
she gets a
glimpse of Buffy. She comes back to the gym and begins
to lose her
balance. Xander and
struggle for control, but they collapse. The crowd
reacts to the fall.
Xander and
Joy: Amy,
what's your problem?
Amy shoots her a dirty look. Joy is taken aback. Amy
gets up, looks
around and runs from the gym. Cut to the lab.
Catherine:
She's coming!
Giles looks worried.
Cut to the halls. Amy violently pushes open a door.
Amy: Get out of
my way!
Amy: Help me?
With what?
good cauldron.
Xander sneaks up behind Amy.
Amy twists around, growls and holds out her hand like
she's grabbing
Xander's neck. His hand goes to his throat. Amy makes
a fist and twists
it. Xander collapses to the floor, choking.
Amy spins back around and punches
to the floor. She starts running to the lab.
Cut to the lab. Giles is holding up his arms and
chanting.
Giles: Corsheth
and Gilail! The gate is closed! Receive the dark!
Release the unworthy! Take of mine energy and be
sated!
He plunges his hands into the mixture he's concocted.
Cut to the halls. Amy slams through another door and
continues walking
to the lab with a determined look on her face. She
tries the door, but
it's locked. She yanks at it. Cut inside. Giles takes
his hands out of
the brew. Catherine looks at the door and sees it's
being yanked on.
Giles: Be sated!
Release the unworthy!
Cut back to the hall. Amy stops yanking at the door
and finds a fire axe
in a glass case. She breaks the glass with her fist
and takes out the
axe. Cut inside to Buffy. She can't keep her eyes open
and is just
rolling her head slowly.
Giles: Release!
Amy begins to chop down the door.
Giles: Release!
Buffy lies prone. Amy has made a hole, reaches through
and gets the door
open. She marches in, axe in hand, straight over to
Buffy.
Giles:
RELEEEEASE!
Amy starts to wield the axe, but stops when there's a
flash of light and
the spells are all broken. She is herself again. She
looks around, a bit
confused, steps back and lowers the axe. Buffy has her
strength back and
gets up from the table. Giles sees that she is okay.
Amy: Buffy?
Buffy: Amy?
Catherine lunges at Buffy from the side and tackles
her to the floor,
knocking her out. Giles advances, holding his arm out
and pointing.
Giles: You...
you...
Catherine growls and looks at him. She uses her powers
to force him back
and push a table against him, knocking him down and
out. Amy just stands
there watching, still holding the axe in both hands.
Catherine gets up
and confronts her.
Catherine: You!
You little brat!
Amy: (holds the
axe threateningly) Mom! Please!
Catherine holds out her hand, and the axe flies from
Amy's hands to
hers.
Catherine: How
dare you raise your hand to your mother! I gave you
birth. I gave up my life so you could drag that
worthless carcass around
and call it living? (swings the axe into a lab table)
You've never been
anything but trouble. I'm going to put you where you
can't make trouble
again!
Buffy: (jumps
up behind Catherine) Guess what?
Catherine turns to face her.
Buffy: I feel
better!
She punches Catherine, and she flies through the air,
lands on a lab
table and rolls off, hitting a shelf full of bottles
along the way. She
quickly gets up.
Catherine: That
body was mine! Mine!
Buffy: Oh, grow
up!
Catherine growls, holds her arm out toward Buffy and
uses her powers to
send her flying against the wall. Buffy hits the wall
and falls to the
floor. She gets up, craning her neck. Catherine begins
to cast a spell.
Catherine: I
shall look upon my enemy!
She looks up at Buffy, and her eyes have become pitch
black.
Catherine: I
shall look upon her and the dark place will have her soul!
Buffy looks around for a way to stop her. She sees the
pole holding up
the mirror above her.
Catherine:
Corsheth, take her!
Buffy does a standing hook kick, knocking the pole out
from under the
mirror and letting it flop down. Catherine's spell
leaps from her hands
and is reflected by the mirror back at her. The power
of the spell
envelops her as she screams. The energy twists around
her and disappears
with a roar, taking her with it.
Buffy surveys the scene. Amy is badly shaken. Buffy
sees Giles
unconscious on the floor. He wakes up.
Giles: Well,
that was, um, interesting.
Buffy gives him her hand and helps him up.
Buffy: You guys
okay?
Amy: I'm fine!
Giles: I assume
the, uh, all the spells are reversed. It was my first
casting, so... (inhales) I may have got it wrong.
Buffy: You
saved my life! You were a god!
Amy: Well, I
didn't think you'd pull it off.
Suddenly Xander comes rushing in and grabs Amy
tightly.
Xander: I got
her! I got her! Cut her head off!
Buffy: Xander,
what are you doing?
Xander: Saving
you?
Buffy: Get your
hands off of her.
Xander: But
she's evil.
Giles: It
wasn't exactly her.
Amy: I was my
mom.
Xander: Oh!
(releases her)
Now
Xander: Uh, hey
Willow! It's cool!
Xander: Yeah, I
took care of it.
They all just look at each other.
Cut to Buffy's room. She scoops her smashed alarm
clock into a
wastebasket. Her mother comes in.
Joyce: I don't
get it.
Buffy: What?
Joyce: I've
been doing a lot of thinking about... where you're coming
from, how to relate to you... and I've come to a very
simple conclusion:
I don't get it.
Buffy: I'm inscrutable,
huh?
Joyce: You're
sixteen. I think there's a, a biological imperative
whereby I can't understand you because I'm not
sixteen.
Buffy: Do you
ever wish you could be sixteen again?
Joyce: Oh,
that's a frightful notion. (exhales) Go through all that
again? Not even if it helped me understand you.
She smiles at her daughter, and Buffy smiles back.
Buffy: I love
you, mom.
She jumps up and kisses her mom on the cheek, then
runs from the room.
Joyce: I don't
get it!
Cut to the school halls. Buffy and Amy are walking
together.
Amy: My dad is
*so* impossible! He doesn't ever want me going anywhere!
He wants to spend total quantity time together. And
I'm, like, 'Dad, I
can go out, it's perfectly safe!' But he's got all
this guilt about
leaving me with my mom. And he's being a total pain.
Buffy: You're
loving it.
Amy: Every
single minute.
Cut to another part of the hall.
Amy: This
Saturday night he wants to stay in and make brownies. Well,
the brownies were my idea.
Cordelia: (comes
up behind them) Hey, I'm really sorry you guys got
bumped back to alternate. (reconsiders) Hold it,
wait... No I'm not!
Amy: Well, I
know that I'll miss the intellectual thrill of spelling
out words with my arms.
Cordelia: Ooo,
these grapes are sour!
Buffy and Amy stop at the trophy case while Cordelia
continues on.
Amy: (to Buffy)
Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot that you wanted to be on the
squad.
Buffy: Oh, hey,
that's okay. Cheerleading's just a little too hairy for
me these days.
Amy: (takes a
breath) That's for sure.
They go around to the front of the case and look at
Catherine's picture.
Amy: Catherine
the Great.
Buffy: And
there's been no sign of her?
Amy: That last
spell... She said I'd never make trouble again. Wherever
she is I don't think we'll have to worry.
They both look at Catherine's cheerleading trophy.
Buffy: Twisted.
They turn and go.
Amy: I'm just
happy to have my body back. I'm thinking of getting fat.
Buffy: Y'know,
I hear that look's in for spring.
The camera closes in on the cheerleading trophy.
Catherine's eyes are
looking out and she's making muffled noises.
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